Dear Big Sister,

I've looked up to you my whole life, but of course I mean that metaphorically, since I'm 8 inches taller than you.

Jokes aside, you're pretty cool.

You may have teased me and made me cry a few times, but I forgive you. It was a part of your big sister duties. Now I can tease you right back as a little sister should.

The experiences I've shared with you will last a lifetime. Even when you didn't think so, I was watching you in awe.

I’ll never forget watching you go to the prom in those platform flip flops. Or when you had your Rachael Ray cookbook obsession.

I remember hearing you come home late at night, even though it was only 11 p.m. I remember waiting until I heard your TV turn off so I could come crawl into your bed. I remember riding in your baby blue jeep, and I remember its final drive when it went up in flames. I remember when you went to college 3,000 miles away; we would talk on AIM.

I was watching you grow into everything I wanted to be. You gave me hope and built my dreams without knowing it.

I never wondered what it would be like if we were closer in age because I wouldn't change it.

At some point the tables turned. You saw me learn to drive, get asked to prom and go to college (and then come home). You watched me fall in love, and then get my heart broken. You listened to me yell about my latest fight with mom. You were always there for me.

My problems were old stuff for you, but you didn't seem to mind. Thank you for that.

Thank you for not just listening but hearing. Thank you for still understanding what it's like to be a young adult but being far enough from it to share advice. Thank you for calling me on your lunch breaks to check in. Thank you for the rides to the airport. Thank you for telling me when I'm in the wrong, and when I deserve better. And thank you for never treating me like a baby.

Thanks for taking the pressure off me to be the first. The first to come in past curfew, move out or get married.

Now you're checking another off the list soon. You're expanding our family by joining another. We won't have the same last name anymore and that's kind of weird. But I know nothing will change, and eventually, I won't carry the name either, but it feels like the end of an era. I’ll miss it.

I’ll watch you try on your first dress. I'll watch you cry when you find the right one, and I’ll watch you walk down the aisle in it. I'll be watching in awe.

We’re older now; I'm in college and you're engaged. But it all feels the same as when I was little. Shopping for a prom dress is now shopping for a wedding dress. The memories are still as strong.

As life continues, you never cease to amaze me. You might not have known it before, but I've been looking up to you.

Love,