Thoughts I Had While Watching Jersey Shore For First Time

10 General Thoughts I Had While Watching Jersey Shore For The First Time

"WTH is a Guido?"

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Okay, so I will preface this article by saying that I'm the type of person who HATES trashy reality shows. I just don't understand how people can find the lives of others so entertaining to the point where you'll watch a revival series of an original show, or even an odd spinoff of the original show you liked in the first place. But yet, here I am, binge watching season one of MTV's beloved "Jersey Shore" (JS) and the new revival series "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation". I'd like to think that I've watched both shows enough to have a general opinion about the JS cast and their way of life. So, without further ado, here are ten thoughts that I had while watching Jersey Shore for the first time.

1. “What in living hell am I watching?”

This dog didn't exactly mirror my reaction but... kind of close.

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Perhaps I'm not the only one who thought this when they first discovered JS, but hey, getting used to JS is a major adjustment to my TV viewing habits.

2. “WTH is a Guido?”

I ship these guidos as a couple #vinnyandpaulyforever

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I swear on my life that for a solid half hour of watching JS that I was lost af because of the cast's unique vocabulary. What's a Guido? Are they referring to themselves (of course they were) or someone else? Nothing like a good ol' fashioned Urban Dictionary search to educate the clueless (AKA me).

3. ‘Bruh, they get into a lot of fights.”

Who could forget Snooki infamously getting knocked down in season one?

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People love the cast because of their functionality as a family, and just like any family there are bound to be fights every now and then. However, practically every episode of JS has someone fighting with someone else, whether it's one of the cast members fighting with one of their own, or one of the Guidos fights some random stranger in the club. Either way, drama is drama.

4. “Who needs this much tan on? Like bruh.”

Gym Tan Laundry y'all! And don't you forget it!

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As I'm sure any JS fan knows, the classy G.T.L routine that started all the way back in season one is a contributing factor as to why these Guidos have so much tan on. The Gym-Tan-Laundry ritual, as explained by The Situation here, is an all week process to look F.T.D for the club.

I'm all for doing what you wanna do in life, but fam, don't turn into an orange!

5. “Wow, they’re getting wasted in the middle of the day. If I did that, people would think I’d have a problem.”

Glasses all around for everyone!

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I realize that the JS cast aren't the only people in the world who do this, but wow these guys just drink… and drink… and drink...

6. “Some of this drama just has to be scripted, right?”

... or it's not. One of the two.

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No way in heck is this show not scripted. There are just some fight scenes where I'm just like "This drama is unnecessary, I bet a producer is behind this." While certain cast members have denied that the show is indeed scripted, there are other accounts of that not being the case. And as a new fan of the Jersey Shore franchise, here's my opinion: As long as they are as genuine as possible, I'll continue to binge watch the show regardless.

7. “Wait, hold up. Snooki has kids now?!? And so does JWoww? What?”

Bro, this is news to me.

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I didn't know Snooki and JWoww had kids until "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" premiered. I just find it amazing how these meatballs have transformed into mothers but still know how to let loose and have fun. Kudos to them for living their best life. I just hope that we as viewers get to see Deena's family grow as she progresses into motherhood herself.

8. “I just realized that all of their names rhyme, why did this take me so long to realize that?”

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I know, I know, random thought. But come on: Pauly, Snooki, Ronnie, Mikey, Vinny, Jenni… and then there's Deena (sorry, not hating on ya D, but we gotta get ya to fit in there somehow!). They all rhyme, that's all I'm saying.

9. “God damn it, I want Vinny’s mom to make me an Italian dinner! I freaking love his folks!”

Vinny's mother knows how to cook like a real Italian woman, don't @ me bro. As evidenced recently in "Family Vacation", Vinny's folks love him and the cast immensely, and what's better to show your love for someone than to cook for them?

10. “I hope someday soon I have a tight family like these Guidos have it after all these years.”

Let's just cancel those who decided not to attend the revival series, shall we? (*ahem* Looking at you, Sammi!)

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Whether you love them or hate them, these Jersey Guidos are family. They may be crazy, and maybe they party too hard, but they're family. While I'm not a party hard chick whatsoever, I'd love to have a tight-knit family like these guys do when I'm older.

The original "Jersey Shore" ran for six seasons on MTV, and lucky enough for fans MTV arranged for the cast to reunite for "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" for not just one season, but a second season was just recently announced. So prepare yourselves guys, more chaos will ensue from the Shore!

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I Went To "The Bachelor" Auditions

And here's why you won’t be seeing me on TV.
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It’s finally time to admit my guilty pleasure: I have always been a huge fan of The Bachelor.

I can readily admit that I’ve been a part of Bachelor fantasy leagues, watch parties, solo watching — you name it, I’ve gone the whole nine yards. While I will admit that the show can be incredibly trashy at times, something about it makes me want to watch it that much more. So when I found out that The Bachelor was holding auditions in Houston, I had to investigate.

While I never had the intention of actually auditioning, there was no way I would miss an opportunity to spend some time people watching and check out the filming location of one of my favorite TV shows.

The casting location of The Bachelor, The Downtown Aquarium in Houston, was less than two blocks away from my office. I assumed that I would easily be able to spot the audition line, secretly hoping that the endless line of people would beg the question: what fish could draw THAT big of a crowd?

As I trekked around the tanks full of aquatic creatures in my bright pink dress and heels (feeling somewhat silly for being in such nice clothes in an aquarium and being really proud of myself for somewhat looking the part), I realized that these auditions would be a lot harder to find than I thought.

Finally, I followed the scent of hairspray leading me up the elevator to the third floor of the aquarium.

The doors slid open. I found myself at the end of a large line of 20-something-year-old men and women and I could feel all eyes on me, their next competitor. I watched as one woman pulled out her travel sized hair curler, someone practiced answering interview questions with a companion, and a man (who was definitely a little too old to be the next bachelor) trying out his own pick-up lines on some of the women standing next to him.

I walked to the end of the line (trying to maintain my nonchalant attitude — I don’t want to find love on a TV show). As I looked around, I realized that one woman had not taken her eyes off of me. She batted her fake eyelashes and looked at her friend, mumbling something about the *grumble mumble* “girl in the pink dress.”

I felt a wave of insecurity as I looked down at my body, immediately beginning to recognize the minor flaws in my appearance.

The string hanging off my dress, the bruise on my ankle, the smudge of mascara I was sure I had on the left corner of my eye. I could feel myself begin to sweat. These women were all so gorgeous. Everyone’s hair was perfectly in place, their eyeliner was done flawlessly, and most of them looked like they had just walked off the runway. Obviously, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

I walked over to the couches and sat down. For someone who for the most part spent most of the two hours each Monday night mocking the cast, I was shocked by how much pressure and tension I felt in the room.

A cop, stationed outside the audition room, looked over at me. After a brief explanation that I was just there to watch, he smiled and offered me a tour around the audition space. I watched the lines of beautiful people walk in and out of the space, realizing that each and every one of these contestants to-be was fixated on their own flaws rather than actually worrying about “love.”

Being with all these people, I can see why it’s so easy to get sucked into the fantasy. Reality TV sells because it’s different than real life. And really, what girl wouldn’t like a rose?

Why was I so intimidated by these people? Reality TV is actually the biggest oxymoron. In real life, one person doesn’t get to call all the shots. Every night isn’t going to be in a helicopter looking over the south of France. A real relationship depends on more than the first impression.

The best part of being in a relationship is the reality. The best part about yourself isn’t your high heels. It’s not the perfect dress or the great pick-up lines. It’s being with the person that you can be real with. While I will always be a fan of The Bachelor franchise, this was a nice dose of reality. I think I’ll stick to my cheap sushi dates and getting caught in the rain.

But for anyone who wants to be on The Bachelor, let me just tell you: Your mom was right. There really are a lot of fish in the sea. Or at least at the aquarium.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

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11 Amazing TV Shows That Are Ending in 2019

All good things must come to an end.

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It might just be the beginning of 2019 but there are many TV series wrapping up already. There are many breathtaking and original pilots around along with several reboots coming. This might be one of the greatest year for TV.

However, all good things must come to an end. Some series have been planned out and are going to be finished while others have been cut short. Sadly, here's a list of TV series to say goodbye to this year.

1. The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Final Date: May

12 Seasons//279 episodes

2. Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

www.youtube.com

Final Date: End of 2019

7 seasons//91 episodes

3. Jane the Virgin (CW)

www.flickr.com

Final Date: Mid-late 2019

5 seasons//100 episodes

4. Games of Thrones (HBO)

HBO

Final Date: Summer

8 Seasons//73 episodes

5. Broad City (Comedy Central)

Comedy Central

Final Date: March

5 seasons//50 episodes

6. VEEP (HBO)

HBO

Final Date: Spring

7 seasons//67 episodes

7. Homeland (Showtime)

Showtime

Final date: Summer

8 seasons//96 episodes

8. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix)

Final date: January 25

4 seasons//52 episodes

9. The Affair (Showtime)

Amazon

Final Date: End of 2019

5 seasons//42 episodes

10. Friends From College (Netflix)

Final Date: End of 2019

2 seasons//16 episodes

11. Crashing (HBO)

HBO

Final Date: End of 2019

3 seasons//24 episodes

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