10 General Thoughts I Had While Watching Jersey Shore For The First Time

10 General Thoughts I Had While Watching Jersey Shore For The First Time

"WTH is a Guido?"

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Okay, so I will preface this article by saying that I'm the type of person who HATES trashy reality shows. I just don't understand how people can find the lives of others so entertaining to the point where you'll watch a revival series of an original show, or even an odd spinoff of the original show you liked in the first place. But yet, here I am, binge watching season one of MTV's beloved "Jersey Shore" (JS) and the new revival series "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation". I'd like to think that I've watched both shows enough to have a general opinion about the JS cast and their way of life. So, without further ado, here are ten thoughts that I had while watching Jersey Shore for the first time.

1. “What in living hell am I watching?”

This dog didn't exactly mirror my reaction but... kind of close.

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Perhaps I'm not the only one who thought this when they first discovered JS, but hey, getting used to JS is a major adjustment to my TV viewing habits.

2. “WTH is a Guido?”

I ship these guidos as a couple #vinnyandpaulyforever

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I swear on my life that for a solid half hour of watching JS that I was lost af because of the cast's unique vocabulary. What's a Guido? Are they referring to themselves (of course they were) or someone else? Nothing like a good ol' fashioned Urban Dictionary search to educate the clueless (AKA me).

3. ‘Bruh, they get into a lot of fights.”

Who could forget Snooki infamously getting knocked down in season one?

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People love the cast because of their functionality as a family, and just like any family there are bound to be fights every now and then. However, practically every episode of JS has someone fighting with someone else, whether it's one of the cast members fighting with one of their own, or one of the Guidos fights some random stranger in the club. Either way, drama is drama.

4. “Who needs this much tan on? Like bruh.”

Gym Tan Laundry y'all! And don't you forget it!

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As I'm sure any JS fan knows, the classy G.T.L routine that started all the way back in season one is a contributing factor as to why these Guidos have so much tan on. The Gym-Tan-Laundry ritual, as explained by The Situation here, is an all week process to look F.T.D for the club.

I'm all for doing what you wanna do in life, but fam, don't turn into an orange!

5. “Wow, they’re getting wasted in the middle of the day. If I did that, people would think I’d have a problem.”

Glasses all around for everyone!

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I realize that the JS cast aren't the only people in the world who do this, but wow these guys just drink… and drink… and drink...

6. “Some of this drama just has to be scripted, right?”

... or it's not. One of the two.

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No way in heck is this show not scripted. There are just some fight scenes where I'm just like "This drama is unnecessary, I bet a producer is behind this." While certain cast members have denied that the show is indeed scripted, there are other accounts of that not being the case. And as a new fan of the Jersey Shore franchise, here's my opinion: As long as they are as genuine as possible, I'll continue to binge watch the show regardless.

7. “Wait, hold up. Snooki has kids now?!? And so does JWoww? What?”

Bro, this is news to me.

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I didn't know Snooki and JWoww had kids until "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" premiered. I just find it amazing how these meatballs have transformed into mothers but still know how to let loose and have fun. Kudos to them for living their best life. I just hope that we as viewers get to see Deena's family grow as she progresses into motherhood herself.

8. “I just realized that all of their names rhyme, why did this take me so long to realize that?”

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I know, I know, random thought. But come on: Pauly, Snooki, Ronnie, Mikey, Vinny, Jenni… and then there's Deena (sorry, not hating on ya D, but we gotta get ya to fit in there somehow!). They all rhyme, that's all I'm saying.

9. “God damn it, I want Vinny’s mom to make me an Italian dinner! I freaking love his folks!”

Vinny's mother knows how to cook like a real Italian woman, don't @ me bro. As evidenced recently in "Family Vacation", Vinny's folks love him and the cast immensely, and what's better to show your love for someone than to cook for them?

10. “I hope someday soon I have a tight family like these Guidos have it after all these years.”

Let's just cancel those who decided not to attend the revival series, shall we? (*ahem* Looking at you, Sammi!)

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Whether you love them or hate them, these Jersey Guidos are family. They may be crazy, and maybe they party too hard, but they're family. While I'm not a party hard chick whatsoever, I'd love to have a tight-knit family like these guys do when I'm older.

The original "Jersey Shore" ran for six seasons on MTV, and lucky enough for fans MTV arranged for the cast to reunite for "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" for not just one season, but a second season was just recently announced. So prepare yourselves guys, more chaos will ensue from the Shore!

Cover Image Credit:

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If Taylor Swift Songs Were Types Of Alcohol

Because what's better than a drink and some T-Swift?
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With Taylor Swift's quick return to the music scene... and in a big way, might I add, I decided to associate some of the best Taylor Swift songs with alcohol.

I mean, who wouldn't want to drink to Taylor Swift's catchy melodies and perfect choruses to get over an ex or tell someone exactly how you feel about them?

Taylor Swift has been around for a decade at this point, and let's face it, pretty much all of her songs could go along with at least one type of alcohol.

1. "Welcome To New York" - Moscow Mule

It only makes sense. Visit the Big Apple and you have to indulge in the state's signature cocktail. Moscow mules are a New York classic, and if it's your first night in the city and you haven't bought yourself one, are you even in New York?

2. "Blank Space" - Everclear

Think about it... A night of drinking Everclear will leave you with a giant blank space the next day. You might also look like Taylor did in the music video.

3. "Tim McGraw" - Beer

Tim McGraw is a throwback to Taylor's high school love. What better way to reminisce than with a couple friends and a keg of your favorite cheap beer?

4. "Style" - Cristal Champagne

What's more stylish than with a glass of the most expensive bubbly you can find? Just like Taylor Swift, Cristal will never go out of style.

5. "Shake It Off" - Martini

Get it? Cause you shake a martini? I might be the only one who thinks that's funny but you might end up dancing a little bit with a martini in hand when "Shake It Off" come on the radio.

6. "Red" - Merlot


Red has to go along with a red wine. What else could go along with yet *another* T-Swift breakup song?

7. "22" - Margaritas

Let's face it, when you're 22, you really only drink margaritas. They're fun- and all the hipsters are probably drinking them too.

8. "Teardrops On My Guitar" - Southern Comfort

When your heart is broken, who are you going to turn to besides the only alcohol that gives you comfort...Southern Comfort that is.

9. "I Knew You Were Trouble" - Fireball

I can't say I've ever met anyone who spent a night with Fireball and didn't regret it the next morning.

10. "Look What You Mad Me Do" - Tequila

T-Swift's latest single is an angry one. What better to make you angry than tequila? Taylor basically just called out everyone who had ever talked about her behind her back and she did it in true Taylor fashion-by writing a song. She was probably drunk on tequila when she wrote it too.

11. ...Ready For It? - Bottomless Mimosas

Because it's just that good.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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Now my siblings have a new brother.

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