I wish I could tell you how much I loved you. How much I missed you. How much you improved my life. How you are probably the worst thing that happened to me, yet also the best. I can never thank you enough for every tear, every smile. You honestly will never know how much you mean to me.
You were there for me when I needed you most. You were a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold. You were exactly what I needed. But also a recipe for disaster, I became so reliant on you. I thought you were the only thing that could fix me. I thought that when I was hurting, no one could make me feel better but you. Boy was I wrong.
The day we stopped being friends I saw the world differently. I realized that I could do things by myself. I realized I could help myself. I realized that you weren’t the sun. That my world didn’t have to revolve around you. That I can survive without you.
I was so proud of myself when I started to rebuild my life without you. I started to pick up the pieces of my shattered mind and heart. I realized that even though I was broken mentally, it didn’t mean I couldn’t carry on. I could rebuild myself and move on from you, and I truly started to. Then you came back.
You came back and I didn’t know what to do, I felt confident in myself. I felt like I could take it. I knew that I would never become the person I was before we stopped being friends. But then I saw you again, I saw your face. I watched you laugh, you hugged me and I was overwhelmed by your comforting smell. It felt like I was home again.
I want to promise you and myself this now. I will never be that person I was before we stopped being friends, and I don’t know if I can ever fully trust you again, but I promise I will forever be your best friend. I will forever be in your life. I may not be the same person I was before, I may be different, but I am here. And I will forever be here, always. I promise you that.