So I'm thinking, if you're reading this, you either struggle with anxiety, or you know someone who does. If you do deal with anxiety, depression, or both, you probably read the headline for this article and thought, "Great, another person who doesn't understand." Well, hold that eye roll and just keep reading.
About four years ago, I was in a pretty invincible stage in my life. I think we all go through this phase ... particularly in early adulthood when we feel like, yeah, bad things happen, and we're really aware of the dangers of life, but we still have this naive idea that these things will never actually happen to us. I loved that phase at the time. Although, when I look back at some of the stupid things I did, I just want to smack some sense into my younger self. But still, it was simple, easy, and careless.
Then I broke my arm. It happens to the best of us. I won't go into the embarrassing details (cough, cough, rollerblading), but it was pretty normal as far as broken arms go. Until it wasn't. I spent so many of my recent years thinking nothing bad would ever happen to me, and then all of a sudden, in a rather abrupt and not-so-pleasant way, that naive theory just stopped feeling realistic. I was broken, and if my arm could be broken, then the rest of me could too. And just like that, one single thought was more destructive than any other thought I ever had in 23 years of life.
At this point in my life, I was pretty familiar with anxiety, but nowhere near the amount of anxiety I was about to experience. It was terrifying and overwhelming to be so suddenly struck with something that seemed to have the power to run my whole life -- or rather, to ruin it. I couldn't leave my room for months. I couldn't work, I couldn't exercise, and I could hardly sleep. I would see someone just sitting and watching television, or laughing, and think, "I would give anything to feel normal like that again." But, I am here to tell you that it gets better. It gets so much better.
Lately, I've been seeing so many videos and articles all over Facebook about anxiety and depression. First, I want to point out how amazing I think it is that so many people are bringing awareness and paying attention to something that affects so many people in this world. That being said, these videos/articles really piss me off. Honestly. You know, I think if you experience anxiety, it's important to talk about it, and it's important for people to understand. I'm all about that. But what I'm not all about is playing the victim. This video, for example, perfectly demonstrates my point.
If you haven't seen the video, it basically goes through a series of notes with different things that people with anxiety might feel or experience. For example, "I don't always know why I'm anxious" or "I'm not being ridiculous or dramatic." A lot of the others are similar to these, and we can all understand and relate to such feelings. But then, there are a few like "All the logic in the world won't keep my heart from hammering in my chest," or "You don't choose to have anxiety, it chooses you," and my personal favorite, "I'm being attacked by something I can't escape from." I wish I could find the words to explain how much that frustrates me, but there aren't any. Here's why.
If I had to choose one single piece of advice I ever received on how to beat my anxiety (and i say beat, not cope with, because you can beat it) that helped me the most, it would definitely be to stop telling yourself that you can't win. I never thought I could beat it; I never thought I could be stronger than the anxiety. I played the victim, and I played it well. But once I got over myself, I started to take control of my own life. I think one of the biggest mistakes people with anxiety make is believing that it controls you, and not the other way around. If you believe only one thing for the rest of your life, let it be this: You can change it, you can beat it, you can take back control. Learning that is half the battle.
These videos have good intentions. I think they mean to help people and give them a sense that what they are feeling is normal and they aren't alone. But words like "I'm being attacked by something I can't escape from" are way more harmful than helpful. They give your anxiety control. They tell your mind that you are a victim, and you are just going to lie down and take it. But you are stronger than that! You are better than that! Don't let the weakness take over your life. Remind yourself every single day that you can take back control over your own life, because it is your life, and you only get one!
I would love to see fewer videos talking about all of the hard parts of anxiety, and more videos and articles with stories of strong people conquering their fears and anxiety. Something like that would give everyone something to be inspired by, something to aspire to, something positive to think about. We need to stop being so serious and so negative and so melodramatic about living with anxiety, and start being real and positive and fearless about it! After all, it's only anxiety.
