Today I accept my mental illness. I accept that I am different--that I am a different kind of different.

I accept that it will take more for me than most to get out of bed, to do daily tasks or to find it in me to run every day errands. My depression and anxiety will always fight against each other.

I accept the daily medication, the constant mood logging, the time and sleep tracking, therapy sessions and the support groups. I know now that I am not alone.

I accept that I will not always be consistent-- I will not always meet my goals.

I accept the trauma, the abuse and the neglect that shaped me into the person I am today. I accept that I am a survivor of this trauma, the abuse, the neglect that formulated into my mental illnesses.

It may not be valid to many, that it may not even exist to many, but I accept that it very much exists to me.

I know now that it will take self care and pep talks to get myself outside and to get myself to reach out when I need help. I have to constantly be aware of my own triggers, my own lows, and what I need to do to keep moving forward.

I know now this this is all for myself, that it is okay to not be okay.

I know now that there will be days where I just don't know why I can't get out of bed. There will not always be reasons for having anxiety/panic attacks. I can't always control them.

I won't know why I suddenly fell into negative thinking, why I suddenly hit a low. I know now that I must take any victory I can. Whether that is getting myself out of bed, getting myself to reach out, to go to the gym or going on an errand.

I accept that these may not be victories to others, but that these are victories to me.

I accept that people may think I am ungrateful, that I seem lazy and seem hopeless. However, I accept and know that I am not these things. These do not define me.

I now know that I was the only one trapping myself in a box. I know now that I am limitless. I know now that somedays the world will feel so small and I will feel so fragile. I also know to never take for granted the days when I feel the most alive.

I know now that I love life. I know now that I will fight, even on the days where the pain feels like it will last forever.

This is who I am. I accept the depression and anxiety and all that comes with it. I will no longer suppress it, I will no longer live behind a mask, I will no longer force myself to see things the way they aren't. I will see the world through my lens, and do what it takes to be better.

I do not accept the label of being a victim of the trauma, abuse or neglect. I am a survivor. I am a survivor because I will continue to fight for myself when no one else will. I accept that I don't need to prove myself to anyone. I accept that nothing will change if nothing changes.

There is no fixing me. I do not need to be fixed.

I accept that my mental illnesses are a part of who I am. I accept that it is okay to not be okay.