All throughout high school, I was dreading graduation. I was afraid of leaving a place that I was finally comfortable in. I was not ready to grow up and make my own decisions or even make new friends. I was scared to leave a routine that I was so accustomed to. All throughout senior year, I was thinking about how everything was my last and that things would never be like they were in that moment. I was right; they wouldn't be the same. Graduation was a tough day for me. The thought of being an adult was not a fun one and then it happened. High school was over. Nostalgia became a very close friend of mine and even through my first year of college, I found myself missing security. In high school, I had direction. My goal was graduation. After that, everything seemed like the unknown and it was so hard to relax. My two best friends had gone to two different colleges. I went from seeing them every day in high school and during the summer to only being able to call them as our means of communication. It was hard moving forward without the two friends that I felt most at home with by my side. (Also, all of the pictures from high school hanging around my room never helped out much. Bad idea.)

As I begin my sophomore year of college, I am realizing just how much of a toll nostalgia took on my life. I do believe in revisiting memories, but not trying to relive them. I have learned that I can not be a part of my past in order to have a strong future. Those times were so good, but they are over. By dwelling on those memories, I am stunting myself from making more amazing ones. I have discovered that it is OK to not have security. During these times, everything is changing. My mindset has adjusted from being scared of change to welcoming it. So many new blessings are revealed when you set new focus on the present and future rather than the past.

Looking back on all of the time I spent missing the older days, I wonder, "What was so great about back then?" When I ask myself this question, I don't really know how to answer it. I do such a great job of caramelizing the past. Was it really everything that I used to say it was? Yes, it was good, but why was it stunting me? Life in the real world is so much better. Everything is exciting after high school if you let it be. Everything is new. Now, I have freedom. I have new adventures to make. I am broadening my horizons. I am making strong friendships and making new memories with those people. I am more independent. I get to actually choose my classes. I participate in what I want to participate in. But overall, I am not sure of a lot of things. That used to terrify me, but now excites me. Because I have learned throughout my freshman year of college that some of the best times are the moments where you don't have everything figured out. Nothing will ever be so definite again. But unlike freshman year me, nothing can stop me from enjoying right now...not even Nostalgia.