Being a young mother means, yes for some of us it may not have been planned... but we made the choice to take on the responsibility of parenthood. We have to work twice as hard trying to prove were doing a good job, with judgmental eyes watching our every move. Everyone has something to say, everyone assumes you want (or need) their advice, and everyone is ready to belittle your parenting. Often times being a young mom is even harder than having a baby later in life because we are still getting our own lives together while raising our children. I speak for every young mother when I say: We are SO tired of society looking at our children as mistakes, we are So tired of society feeling sorry or us. We don't want your sympathy, we demand your respect.
Your comments are not necessary nor are they wanted. They're rude, inappropriate and really just demeaning. You would not believe some of the things that come out of peoples mouths. Just for starters here are some of the questions ( and comments) people felt the need to spew regarding my child and I:
"was it planned?"
"Are you still with the father?"
"What are you doing right now?"
"Did you finish school?"
"Do you like being a mom?"
"You better not get pregnant again."
"Say goodbye to your life."
"But you're still a baby yourself!"
"So, you don't believe in abortion?"
"It's okay, you and your baby will be like best friends!"
Those are just a few examples, coming from family, friends, and strangers. Some of these questions are just invasive and uncomfortable. But others are actually insulting, and believe me, I have struggled with biting my tongue. For starters...whether it was planned or not, or if I am still with the father is none of your business ( nor is whether I'm working or if I finished school.) really I thought it was common knowledge not to ask anyone questions like these... but very many people have proved me wrong. the other half of these comments are ignorant and hateful. I better not get pregnant again? because the first time was such a mistake? I'm not sure if you realize this... but I am my own person and I make my own decisions. Say goodbye to your life? For some reason, most people have the belief that once you have a baby, your life is doomed to a crippling end. I have actually found that having a baby has only added to my life, making it better and more meaningful. Why is it that because I DECIDED to have a child at a young age, that must mean that I don't believe in abortion? Is it so hard to believe that I want my baby?
The fact of the matter is, I may just be annoyed by the way people treat young mothers, but some take offense to these comments. Some young mothers let your words affect their everyday life, some mothers really beat themselves up because of what you just HAD to say or ask. It's already hard enough raising a baby, let alone raising a baby while trying to get our lives on track. So next time you want to ask an inappropriate question, or make a comment about our lives or our parenting... please keep it to yourself. All mothers should be seen as equal, we have all made the selfless decision to bring a life into this world and nurture it. We have all skipped meals to tend to our child, watched cartoons with horrible music over and over, lugged endless bags, toys, and food everywhere, gone nights without sleeping, gotten peed pooped or thrown up on, held our children until our arms gave out, sacrificed our own personal needs for theirs, and so much more, to care for our children. All mothers deserve your respect, it's time we all received it.
