It's Time to Break Up With Your iphone

It's Time to Break Up With Your iphone

Blame Your iPhone And Its Many Ways In Which Its Influence Has Made Your Behavior, Frankly, Socially Unacceptable.
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How many times a day do you find yourself looking down at your iPhone instead of in the eyes of the person talking to you? The person passing you? Your crush? RUDE. No one likes to feel like they're not getting your full attention. But don't worry, it's not exactly your fault; you can blame your iPhone.

You probably don’t want to admit it, but let’s face it, sometimes you can be slightly socially awkward. For the more obsessed iPhone users out there, you can be a lot socially awkward. I’m not blaming you, and you shouldn’t either. Blame your iPhone and its many ways in which its influence has made your behavior, frankly, socially unacceptable. Before you can laugh and deny it, think about it, here’s a few habits that I bet you’re guilty of.

Listening to music on the way to class to avoid conversation

Yup, you've been caught. I know you love your Spotify premium account, but please unplug the headphones. Having your headphones gives others the impression of being standoffish. Embrace the sunshine and the people around you! Who knows what great conversations you could be missing out on.

Auto correct

Although auto correct was a very thoughtful invention, it’s also been a haughty one. It types the word we’re thinking of before we can even finish its thought, and it changes the word we mean into the word it thinks we mean. It’s made us so accustomed to abbreviations and text slang that we may find ourselves sounding like a rerun of “The Duff” when we should be sounding professional, in the classroom, in our weekly meeting, in our job place. Whoops, embarrassing, not the impression we were looking to give off.

Instant Text Message

Having the ability to send text messages instantly, has not only makes face-to-face interactions feel like pulling teeth, but also makes you unable to deal with confrontation. Mad at someone? Just wait for them to leave and then text them, duh. Pour out your heart in a lengthy paragraph. This bad habit makes you unable to deal with confrontation. When conflict arises, you find yourself shutting down, or walking away rather than expressing your thoughts and resolving the conflict. Later, you may regret words you didn't say, leaving the issue unresolved. In some cases, you may even give someone power over you due to your incapability to stick up for yourself. We become phone shy, only able to express our most intimate thoughts via technology.

Tinder

Ah, Tinder. The most tempting of all apps. So convenient, so empowering, so.. weird. Come on, we’re better than that. I know we all desire a bit more assurance than knowing our profile picture rated above a mediocre 5 for a swipe right. It’s easy to fall into the convenience and ease of dating sites and forget how to be charming when it matters most. What ever happened to walking up to the pretty girl in her sundress at the grocery store and telling her just how beautiful your pounding heart says she is, or asking the cute/smart guy in your lab for some un needed torturing, or finally asking that mutual friend you’ve been dying to have one-on-one time with out on a date. A real date, with an old fashion pick up at 8, door opening, flowers, meaningful conversation; you know the one. Instead of hiding behind a social media app and pulling out your cheesiest pickup line. It may be flattering, and a confidence boost, but no one really wants to settle for their soul mate out of Tinder desperation.

It's time to break up with your iPhone and start some real relationships.

Cover Image Credit: coub.com

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25 Responses To Your Friend Who Doesn't Text Back

Omg thanks for responding so quickly...oh, wait.
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We all have that friend. That friend we love to death, but if we are sure of anything in this world, it’s that they will not respond to your text because they suck at texting. That moment when you see “Read 1:04 p.m.” and you’re like “and???? Helloooooooo!”

These are 25 responses for that dear friend.

1. Lol thanks for tagging me in that FB post, now text me tf back.


2. OMG, wait you met Chris Hemsworth and he’s professing his love to you??!! No? Okay, then you can def text me back.

3. Hey I’m coming to help you since you obviously broke your thumbs and can’t respond.

4. Lolol thanks for responding. I’ll just continue the conversation with myself. That’s cool.

5. Good chat.

6. Yeah I wouldn’t know how to respond either, pizza topping selection is a thought-provoking process. Take your time. Meditate on it.

7. The classic: ^^^^^^^^^


8. I hope you’re writing me the 8th Harry Potter novel.

9. That was a yes or no question. This isn’t difficult. You wouldn’t do well with ‘Sophie’s Choice.’

10. Omg, did you pass out from the excitement of getting a text from me? Totally understandable. Text me when you regain consciousness, love.

11. Omg what a witty and clever response. Nothing. So philosophical.

12. The only excuse I’ll accept is if you’re eating guac and don’t want to get it on your phone. Because avocados are life.

13. I love it when you do that adorable thing when you don’t text me back for hours. So cute.


14. Okay I’ll answer for you. Yes, you’re going out tonight. Glad we had this convo.

15. In the time it has taken you to respond, dinosaurs could have retaken the earth.

16. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

17. The dramatic but also very valid response: That’s what happens when you don’t respond for 30 minutes. People die.


18. I apologize for asking if you were coming to watch Bachelor, clearly the decision has caused you serious reflection on your priorities. I’m sorry to have caused you this existential crisis.

19. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. But like plz respond…

20. Your response time is longer than Ross and Rachel’s entire relationship. 10 seasons. You couldn’t text me back for 10 seasons?!!

21. Wait. You’re responding too fast. I can’t keep up. Hang on. Don’t respond so quickly. Jeez.

22. A subtle but perfectly placed gif. What will you go with? The classic eye roll perhaps or maybe a “you suck.”


23. Did you fall off a cliff? Wait, you don’t exercise. Pause your Netflix and respond b*tch.

24. Omg I WON THE LOTTERY. *responds* Lol now you respond…

25. And my personal favorite and go to, Did you text me and then decide to THROW YOUR PHONE ACROSS THE OCEAN?! Lol swim fast, I need an answer.

Cover Image Credit: http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8289/7759302068_fac2dfd31d_b.jpg

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9 Reasons To Make Yourself A 'Fake' Instagram (Finsta) Account

Because looking like you have it all together is overrated.

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A "finsta" or fake instagram is a private account where you accept only your closest friends/family and post funny/embarrassing things about your life. It is somewhat of a dying trend, but I brought it back for myself and love it more than any other social media platform. To convince you to make a finsta, I will even dive into the embarrassing depths of mine.

1. Show off your true fashion statements without worrying about the weekly trend

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2. You can post all the pictures that you wanted to Instagram, but didn't because you were afraid of "posting too much"

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3. You can make fun of all of your day's shortcomings and disappointments.

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4. You can post all the funny texts and office memes you want, without judgment.

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5. You can actually be a RELATABLE HUMAN BEING without worrying about how many likes you get (gasp)

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6. You can post embarrassing pictures of your friends without them caring

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7. When you look back on your posts, they will more accurately describe your life events than your rinsta, because it's not just always about the picture perfect moments.

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8. It will tell you who your true friends are. If they can't see you for your silly and real self, then reconsider.

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9. You can make fun of yourself and are reminded not to take life too seriously.

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