If you’re like me, you like to give people second chances. Or third chances. Or ten. If you’re like me, when someone hurts you, you’re quick to brush it off and give a reason for it. Maybe you think "they’re going through a tough time," or maybe “they’re not really like that when you get to know them.” Your friends probably ask you why you miss your ex after they treated you the way they did, or why you put up with the so-called friend who maybe doesn’t act like one. If you’re like me, you make excuses for people.
It’s really a beautiful thing to love people as deeply as we do. If we care about someone, we want to be there for them through good times and bad. Once we’ve gotten to know them, we know their good sides, the parts of them that make us love them in the first place. But I’m here to tell you this: it’s OK to love yourself, too -- especially if that person is ultimately bringing you down.
Because we open ourselves up to others so easily, we’re often the ones who get hurt the easiest. We want to trust that the people we care about will do the right thing, and will love us as much as we love them. Unfortunately, however, this isn’t always the case. Everyone fights their own personal battles, and sometimes, those battles manifest themselves as hurting the ones who care about them the most.
You don’t have to keep taking it. You don’t have to shoulder the burdens others choose to put on you because they know you’ll be there. You don’t have to answer the text or call you’ve been waiting by the phone to receive, just because they feel like reaching out when it pleases them. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself. You’re allowed to decide when enough is enough.
I know it feels like a betrayal. We want to love unconditionally. Ultimately, people like us are the only ones getting hurt if that love isn’t reciprocated. In these situations -- if you let yourself realize it -- the painful things probably outweigh the pleasant ones.
Take the space that person fills in your life -- the energy and emotions they tear away from you -- and fill it with something good. As hard as it is to let go, there truly are so many better things out there. There are people who want and desperately need to receive your love, and who will treat it with the respect it deserves. The only thing left to do before this can happen is to respect yourself enough to walk away from those who hurt you.
