Relationships.

Do you know what the true definition of this word is?

To save you the trouble of looking it up, I did. Merriam-Webster defines it as "the way in which two or more people, groups, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other". Now take a moment to think about all the relationships you have with the people in your life. Whether it's with your mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, friend, roommate, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, anyone. This may take longer than just a moment but reflect on those relationships. Are they good, bad, is there even any type of communication between you and that person? When was the last time the two of you spoke? Saw each other? Said I love you? Anything?

You may be thinking one of two ways right now. " I can't live without this person". Or you're saying "I don't need them in my life". You're probably reliving in your head the very event that cause your relationship with that person to change in a negative way. You can still feel the same pain you felt in that moment, which is why you think you're better off shutting them out of your life. Without realizing that you've been holding a grudge. But has it crossed your mind that maybe God placed that person in your life for a reason? People do not just walk in and out of your life out of pure coincidence. Coincidences don't exist. It's God, it has and will able be Him. One of God's many ways of helping us grow is through others. Relationships are the perfect way for Him to test us. They're not easy, they aren't meant to be, but they are necessary. And in those tough moments within the two people, is when your faith is tested. God never puts you in a situation you can't handle.

There's people out there that claim up and down to be "real" Christians and claim to love God and this and that. But just the other night were telling their mother "I hate you". Or the ones holding grudges on family members for walking out of their lives or hurting them. But still expect forgiveness from God for everything they have done. I'm confused? Also, the ones disloyal to their significant other and swear to be faithful to God. Even the ones talking bad about their brothers and sisters in Christ, but when their real sibling is in trouble or does something wrong they don't want anyone to find out and plead to God to help them. The way you "deal" with your relationships of the flesh reflects your relationship with God. The same way God is with you and the mess that comes along is the same way He expects you to be with those around you. No ifs, ands, or buts. Yes it is hard, but no one is perfect. We do not deserve anything that God has given us. Especially His love, but because of His grace and mercy He still wakes us up everyday and waits for us to talk to Him. He's our shoulder to cry on when no one is around and strength when we can't take it anymore. Just how He is ALWAYS there for us, we must do the same with those around us.

Yes, there might be tension between you and that person. But it's most likely because you're still holding on to things of the past. Let it go. We're not little kids anymore "Oh he hurt my feelings." What are you getting out of holding grudges against others? You want to know? A fast track pass to hell, because if you think you'll go to heaven with any negativity towards someone you're greatly mistaken. Forgiveness is key. Start handling things more mature. It all starts with talking to them, tell them how you really feel and move forward within your relationship.

Put yourself in God's position for a moment. Think of your past, everything you've done, the person you were back then. If my God was an evil God he would be acting the same way you are toward your loved ones. Coming up with "excuses" as to why He can't forgive you. But the fact is my God is the complete opposite and the proof is where you are right now because of His forgiveness. No grudges. Just unconditional love.

Be real with yourself, it took me a while to understand this myself. As I've said before in a previous article I haven't been serving God all my life. But when you start to take it serious and want to grow in God you basically have to do a 180 with your life. Yes, as many churches say "come as you are" but you're not meant to stay that way. The church is where you come to grow and become the person God want you to be. As my relationship with God started to form, I caught myself acting one way with Him and another way with others.

I had someone in my life that just used me to get what He wanted and then walked out. And that wasn't the only time. There was a few years in my life that I barely knew my dad. I had no real relationship with my mom just arguments for things I'd do. I lived with my sisters but I would isolate myself. The list goes on and on. The same effort I was putting into my relationship with Him, was what I was meant to do with those around me. And I did, forgiving people that I never thought in a million years that I would. I began to see how God didn't look at me as my past but as the future that laid ahead. And experiencing His forgiveness helped me to forgive others. And the relationships in my life began to grow.

Here's what I've learned, relationships are hard work. There has to be constant effort from both sides in order to grow. Communication. Understanding. Forgiveness. Patience. Trust. Love. With everyone in your life and especially with God. He is your best friend, start treating Him that way. He's never going to give up trying but it's time for you to do your part. James 4:8 "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."