For some reason it has been put in the minds of women (and men) that is not okay to say no to someone who is forcing themselves on you. Most victims won't even go to the authorities because they don't think anything will be done about it. This is truly sad and quite frightening. What kind of world do we live in where people can't even report when something so wrong has been done to them?
In a study, researchers interviewed 8,000 women and 8,000 men. They found that 22% of women who experienced sexual assault were under the age of 12 when sexually assaulted, 54% under the age of 18, and 83% under the age of 25. The research also found that 1 out of 33 men have experienced a sexual assault. Looking at these statistics makes me extremely sick.
In society today, we all have to worry about the way that we are dressed or how we are acting. We have to be cautious wherever we are and always have our eyes wide open. We are told not to put our drinks down because someone may slip something into it. We are told never to leave a party alone, or with someone that we don't know. But, in the same sense if we are dressed a certain way we are told that we are "asking for it." How is that fair?
It is the 20th century, the world is filled with crop tops, tight jeans, and short shorts. How is it possible to justify a sexual assault because the way someone is dressed? IT'S NOT. We are letting more and more people get away with taking advantage of others because we brush it off and make excuses.
An excuse like "She(or he) was just too drunk, it was consensual" is completely and utterly wrong. If the person you are with is drunk, it is NOT consensual. They are not in the right state of mind to tell you if what you are doing is okay. No means no, if they tell you no and you continue to force yourself on them that means you are sexually assaulting them, it doesn't matter if they are drunk.
Another excuse sounds something like "Oh please, she's my girlfriend, it's not rape." This is so dehumanizing. If your girlfriend doesn't want to do anything sexual in that moment and you force her to, that IS rape. You cannot tell yourself that it is okay to do whatever you want because you are in a relationship. They are not your property, you don't own them. They have the right to say no.
You do not owe anyone anything. You are allowed to say no whenever you want to say no. You are allowed to get up and walk away. You are allowed to wear whatever you want. You should never feel guilty for not wanting to do something with someone.
If you find yourself in a situation like this - which, sadly many, many people do. Please, go to the authorities, don't let them ignore it. If you are violated something needs to be done about it. There is no excuse for the pain and fear that you felt in that moment. No one should ever be able to make you feel like you were in the wrong. Sexual assault cannot and should not be ignored, the amount of people that this happens to a day is just sickening. It is said that 97 out of 100 rapists receive no punishment. Something needs to be done.
