Temporary happiness is not living. Moments of happiness that only last what seems to be only a few seconds, is not living. Waking up every morning expecting the worst is not living. You think you have hit rock bottom. Then, the next thing you know something else happens, deepening the pit in your stomach and the abyss of this so-called life. You want to scream in order for someone to just listen. Your heart wants to speak, all while your lips refuse to move. Thoughts and uncertainties crushing any and every speck of happiness. Living your life surrounded by a dark cloud that no one else sees. The frustration of wanting to burst into tears but not wanting this feeling get the best of you, not wanting it to impair your life, even though it slowly is. Hard times seem to appear in the hardest moments. It becomes exhausting. Physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. But I am here to tell you:
It’s okay to not be okay.
Have your mental breakdowns. Talk to someone whether you know them or not. Cry for hours if that is what is going to help you feel better. We are, in a way, told by society that we shouldn’t show our true feelings or emotions because of what others will think of us. We have to put on this plastic mask as if we need to perform a different aspect of ourselves before we walk out the door; submitting to the idea that not being okay needs to be tucked away in the back of our minds. We are humans, feelings and emotions are meant to be felt. People all have their different meanings of what it means to not be okay, but that is what allows for conversation and help. Accepting the fact that not being okay is okay is sometimes the most relieving feeling there is. Embrace the brokenness, embrace the sadness, and embrace not being okay. You have been strong for too long, and it is okay to break down those walls that you’ve built so high.
Choose to stop fighting the battle with yourself, saying that everything is fine. Get angry about the way life is treating you. Get angry about the fact that these emotions are controlling every aspect of your life. People are here to help. People are here to listen. People are here to love. Vulnerability, is hard but it is important, others cannot understand the struggles you need help fighting if they are not aware of them. It will get better. It may not seem so right now, but in the end, this is what will make you stronger and wiser. Choosing to accept that you are not okay is a step towards change. That dark cloud that seems to follow your every move will clear, the feeling of sadness will no longer impair the life that you intend to live day in and day out, and you will become the strongest person you know. You’re going to be okay.
