There’s nothing wrong with waiting. It's okay to have expectations.
I’m young. My friends and I are young and learning to be adults the only way you can-mistakes. I, like most people I know, try to conceal my mistakes and it often gets brushed under the rug that I mess up because no one wants to sit around and think about the bad that they’ve done. No one. It hurts to think about the fact you’ve caused someone else pain. So you fake a smile. Fake it until you make it, right?
Wrong. I’ve had three real romantic relationships in my life that each lasted about three months and from each one I’ve taken away the things I know that I want and that I don’t want.
God heartbreak sucks. It is absolutely terrible. You feel tender and raw, like someone sliced you open and you’re bleeding but it doesn’t seem to end. Sometimes it is time, and other times its people who support you that stop the bleeding; Eventually you become strong enough to pick yourself back up and encourage yourself to stay strong because you can’t let someone have that kind of control over you. Never. If someone hurts you, it is a mistake. We all make mistakes but we all must learn from them or we are naïve and ignoring the most crucial growing points.
The first lesson I learned from dating is that you shouldn’t stick around waiting for something. Don’t wait for them to realize what you hope they will. Don’t wait for them to change. Don’t wait for them to appreciate. Don’t wait for them to stop hurting you. Take control over your heart because it’s yours, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
The second lesson is to never settle. It might be easy in the moment or over the course of a few weeks to feel like “Oh my gosh, I’m really lonely. Maybe I should put myself out there…” and go out on a date. If that person is actually what you’re looking for, that’s fantastic. But chances are the fact you’re feeling lonely might have an effect on how much you like the person, which isn’t fair to either of you. It depends on what you’re looking for, but don’t get into a relationship because you’re lonely. You should date someone because you cherish their presence, appreciate their personality, and care deeply about them. Don’t settle to fill a void temporarily because eventually it’ll become a void again if that relationship isn’t fulfilling.
Thirdly, find someone you can grow with. Since we’re human and born with a predisposition to screwing up and the occasional failure, find someone you can work toward success with. You’re worth the work and time it takes to build something great, so don’t let someone hold you back or keep you from trying something new. Life is short so try something new, go on an adventure, and learn weird things about each other. Don’t take anything for granted, appreciate what you have while you’re on your way to what you want.
