Being alone does not make one lonely. Being surrounded by the wrong people makes one lonely. But if we always waited for someone to do something with us or go somewhere with us, then we would be waiting forever. Life’s treasures would stay hidden in the chapters of a book we never pick up. The bottom line is that no one is really that busy — it all depends where you lie on their priority list. It hurts to realize that sometimes that number is low, but what a relief it can be. No longer do you have to wait by the phone for a call that will never come, nor do you have to miss out on sights because the other person was too tired to go.
And the hard truth of the matter is, sometimes, you end up doing things on your own because you have no other choice. But then it becomes addicting. It becomes easier and easier to just get up and go and do all the things you put down on your bucket list, even if it is something as simple as eating in a restaurant by yourself. You begin to like it; you really focus on the food, the atmosphere, the other diners. Your thoughts are free to roam, and you do not have to make conversation, no matter how close to the person you may be.
Before you know it, it becomes easier to stay away from the people who make you feel like you are hard to love. You avoid the disappointment of people rejecting your company, canceling these long awaited plans.
It’s okay to like being alone. After all, we spend the most time with ourselves. And if we cannot learn to like our own company or, more importantly, cheer ourselves up, then there’s no hope for the expectations we put on others. Instead, simply enjoy when new company joins us. Think of it as a treat. Don’t expect good company, or any company, all the time. That is part of the beauty. We will always come across new people, always. Some of these people will stay for a while and it will be nice having some steady company, but then these people will disappear for a while, and you’ll be left on your own again.
Do something instead of killing time. It is not seen as weak to travel on your own, see a movie on your own or even just spend the day in bed instead of socializing. The longer we wait for others, the more alone we feel. As Buddha says, “The root of suffering is attachment.”
