Sometimes, I forget to tell people I'm leaving a room, or ask if they want to come with me to wherever I'm going, or I forget to ask people if they want anything when I go to get things. I would by no means call myself an introvert, though I'm not outrageously outgoing. I love people, I love being around them and I love socializing.
However, I've also realized that there is beauty in being alone, not lonely, but alone. Being lonely correlates to being sad and I am by no means encouraging sadness. Rather that there is something so incredibly wonderful about being alone with just you and your thoughts. You get to process what you're thinking, what you're feeling, what's happening.
Sometimes, the idea of being alone can be terrifying. I think that as human beings we want to be surrounded, to be useful, and to feel needed. That's what we want: to be needed. The sentiment of being "forever alone" is something that the majority of people actually fear. We talk about it jokingly, but the things we joke about are often the things we fear the most. We joke about it hoping that someone will reassure us that, that won't be the case.
I don't think we fear to be alone forever, we fear to be lonely forever. Being alone is temporary, you can draw yourself out of being alone. Being lonely doesn't have the same effect; it's harder to draw yourself out of loneliness.
As an only child, I feel great comfort in being alone. I am so used to doing things on my own that I often forget that it's good to have people around. There are some days where I crave being alone. I want the space, and I want the time. But I do not crave being lonely.
I think that loneliness isn't something that we only chose for ourselves. I think loneliness is something that we get placed in or thrust into. Loneliness, heartbreak, and loss all feel similar. Loneliness is an absence of something or someone. Being alone is when you can bring yourself out of it.
Being alone doesn't hurt in the same way being lonely does. Being alone offers room for growth. You're thinking clearly, you can reflect, you can make plans, and you can think about what you want. Loneliness bogs you down, makes you feel stuck. You start to feel like no one could understand.
In terms of grieving, loneliness is acceptable and understandable and healthy. But being alone and loneliness should not be viewed as the same thing because they evoke different emotions, different feelings.
People like other people. You need that companionship in life. I also think that you need the freedom of being alone, of taking that time with just you and finding freedom in who you are, not who everyone expects you to be or who you should be.
I want to encourage you to take time alone, to be you, to think about whatever you want to think about. Don't be afraid to be alone, embrace it. Being alone is freeing, it's beautiful.
