This summer flew by so fast it didn't sink in that I'm moving back to my college campus until just now. Sure, I've been gradually moving stuff in since Tuesday, and I was on campus all week for sorority stuff, but at the end of each day I always went home and ate dinner with my family. I'd fix myself chocolate chip pancakes for dessert and watch the Olympics, and then I would go to bed and fall asleep cuddling with my cat.
I spent a lot of the summer wishing I could move back to campus and start actual classes. Even though I was on campus four days a week for PE classes, I was still living at home. I was getting home cooked meals and spending quality time with my family. I saw all my old friends from high school. I had a huge to-do list, and only accomplished a few of the things on it, because I kept telling myself I had more time.
Some things on it were big, like wanting to be farther in the book I'm writing or registering for stuff for school. Other things were small. I've been meaning to pick up my prescription from Walgreens for the past four days. I haven't edited and scheduled next week's blog post for my internship. I haven't put sorority recruitment dates on my calendar. I put off writing this article until I realized that I would be moving in all day Sunday, so I needed to do it now if I wanted to have an article this week. Oh, and I haven't finished packing for moving in on Sunday, which also happens to be tomorrow.
Why? Because I'm scared. My apartment and new roommates are both awesome, but for the first time I won't be rooming with my roommate from the past two years. Once again, my real live cat is going to be replaced with a Captain America teddy bear, which, believe it or not, is a rough transition that I always dread. And when my mom sends me pictures of my cat refusing to leave my room I cry. I'll be farther from campus meaning I have to take the bus instead of walking to class every day. I get to cook my own meals, but this also means that I'm just closer to being a full-fledged adult. As my mom bought me groceries tonight, I kept thinking about how cooking in an apartment seems so much different than cooking at my house.
A month ago, I was racing to get to this point, and ever since last Sunday I have been slamming on the brakes. My procrastinating didn't make things go away, and as a result I am now overwhelmed. In the back of my head, I know everything will work out. I'll adjust to my schedule and to living on my own again, and I'll probably forget that I was even scared in the first place. Until the next scary transition happens.
I was once told that anytime you feel uncomfortable in life, it's just growing pains. Eventually they pass and afterwards, you are a new and improved person. Change and transitions are always scary, but they are necessary in order to move forward, and pull us out of our comfort zones. It's okay to be scared and overwhelmed, because in the end this fear will go away. It's all temporary. I have to remind myself this sometimes, and in times like this I always tell myself to enjoy being scared, because soon enough things will be calm again.
