"I am mine before I am ever anyone else's."

-Nayyirah Waheed

For your entire life, you have been told not to be selfish, as if the idea of putting yourself before someone else is completely and entirely absurd. You have this mentality that taking care of yourself is not as important as taking care of others. Somehow, you have allowed the idea of self-love to escape your mind. However, if you are so busy helping and caring for others’ needs, what happens when no one is taking care of you? Is it really wrong to care about your own well-being before someone else’s?

There comes a point when you must stop apologizing for everything and everyone. You need to take ownership of your own life. Be who you are and do what makes you happy. Do not think about what everyone else wants you to do or be. In the long run, all that matters are your own hopes and desires. Sometimes, you just need to take pleasure in knowing that you can make yourself happy.

Notice who puts in the effort in your life. Take time to realize who really cares. Get rid of toxic people in your life. You do not need them; they are only hurting you. Take time to form strong bonds with the people who truly care. Connect with them. These people are the people that really matter.

Take notice of your own happiness. When you decide to do something for yourself, you will allow yourself to see all the good that self-love can have in your life. Allow yourself to be proud of your actions. You don’t need encouragement or acceptance of others. You have now transformed into a whole new person. You can breathe again. Being selfish has finally given you clarity. You now know who you are and what you want to be.

You are allowed to be selfish. It is okay for you to take some time to stop caring for others and to worry about yourself. Sometimes you need to stop letting the negativity of others bring you down. Eliminate the toxicity from your life. Choose to live with the understanding that you need to take a stand for yourself. Choose to bring back the joy in the little things. Choose to be happy.