“You must still be single because guys are intimidated by you.” I got so used to hearing this that for a while I tried to be more unassuming. I was less verbal with my opinions and tried to go with the flow. I made these adjustments based on the assumption that being intimidating was a bad thing. It isn't.

To all the girls who are single because “guys are intimidated by them,” keep doing what you’re doing. Now I’m not saying to be mean or standoffish, but be true to yourself, even if that scares some guys off. Be your bold, outspoken, intense self. Realistically, if you end up in a relationship with someone, that side of you is going to come out anyways, so there’s no point in hiding it initially.

Let’s think about the reasons a guy would be intimidated by a girl: she’s unnervingly pretty, she’s intelligent, or some combination of the two. Of course, there’s the possibility that she just had really bad RBF, but let’s assume that she doesn’t for now. Neither being pretty nor being smart is a bad thing.

In the end, a guy that isn’t intimidated by you will have more confidence than the guys who passed you over. He will challenge you every day. He will be secure enough with himself that the two of you can lead your own independent lives, but complement one another at the same time. You won’t end up with someone who is needy or someone who brings out the needy side in you.

The other great part of being intimidating to guys is that you’ll know pretty clearly who that strong, confident guy is that you’re looking for. While the shy ones steer clear, the confident ones will have no problem engaging you in conversation. They’ll see your beauty or your wit whatever it is about you that intimidates other guys – for what it really is: a bonus. A strength. Something they want to be around every day.

So yeah, it stinks waiting for that guy to come along. Don’t lose hope, because you’re not going to see him if you have your eyes closed.