This is what one of my good friends said to me about a week ago:
"What did you expect to happen? You're wearing leggings."
I was at a gas station off the highway on my way to visit friends and family. It was fairly late at night, and there weren't many people around except for someone else who was pumping gas and a man that was probably older than my parents. As I started to walk inside to pay for my gas, he started saying things like "Hey pretty girl come over here and talk to me." I was wearing leggings and a t-shirt because I wanted to be comfortable for my seven hour drive and as I was going inside to pay for gas I was being talked to like this by a man who should have known not to talk to women like that but apparently didn't.
And somehow it's my fault?
Why is it that it's the woman's fault for being harassed? She's wearing leggings, tight fitting clothes or a low cut shirt so she clearly wanted the attention. She was drinking so it's her fault that I attacked her. That second one is my favorite because it makes absolutely no sense but it's used constantly in sexual assault and rape cases, most recently to my knowledge in the Stanford Rape Trial. My question is, why is it our fault?
Why are women taught from a young age that they have to put their comfort second because of how men will react? When we're kids in school we have more dress code rules to follow so that the boys don't get distracted or feel uncomfortable. I have been told that I needed to change from my shorts into pants at school when the A/C was broken during June. Why do I need to change my clothes so that the boys can focus on their education? Why not just teach the boys to focus on their education instead of the girls around them? That makes more sense to me.
Now as adults, we are told that it's our fault for wearing leggings or low cut shirts when guys are inappropriate towards us. It's not my fault that some guys can't control themselves enough around women in tight clothing so that they don't make these comments. Awkward and uncomfortable encounters with randoms at gas stations aren't the end of it either. In most cities you can find cat callers and even in school or at work women are feeling like they are being blamed in one way or another for men not being able to stop themselves from acting this way.
I understand that not all men are like this, but so many are that it is normal for women to feel exploited for doing nothing but wearing clothes that are comfortable to them.
When my friend asked me what I expected for wearing leggings the first and only thought to come to my mind was, "I expected to be comfortable, but suddenly I'm not anymore." We need to make a serious attempt to stop blaming women for men's actions and teaching men how to not act this way.
