So a guy picks you up, brings you flowers, opens your door and buys you dinner. He also tells you you're worthless, stupid, ugly and fat. As a girl, it can be so hard to see the bad when there is some good. We crave attention and love so much that sometimes, we are blind to dangerous signs staring us right in the face. Beware the sweet talk, ladies.
Let's get right down to the ugly truth. Men do lie. Now, I am by no means saying or implying that all guys are the same, because there's a lot of good guys around. I am saying, though, not to be naive when approached by the opposite sex.
They will say anything and all the right things to get you. Girls love to say that boys are pigs but don't even realize that makes them the slop. In other words, we give our hearts and ourselves away so easily. We feed their appetite. "You're pretty" is all we need and we're painting our faces with makeup for the first date. Um, hello? Earth to chicks: He's already all about your outward appearance. There's nothing wrong with a guy thinking you're attractive, but go for a guy whose opening line is, "I think you're a cool, funny girl. Maybe we should hang out sometime." I know what you're thinking. "LOL that scenario doesn't exist!" when, in fact, it does! We just settle for the jerk who tells us we're hot. Demand respect to receive respect.
I guess a guy focusing on your appearance isn't such a bad thing, right? That's our thought process. Oh, so wrong. I mean it seems harmless, he just likes the way you look. But, that turns you into an object of lust. Some guys are just gonna be your typical jerk-face losers that only want one thing from you, and some guys are pure evil. That is why you have to keep your guard up and watch out. Learn that what seems to be immaturity could become harmful as the relationship progresses.
Forget the stereotypical dirtbag that needs a good punch in the face. Love and respect yourself enough to steer clear of those one night stand types. My focus is the risk found in those bad boys we are drawn to. Bad can lead to dangerous quicker than I can run to my fridge when I'm hungry. Trust me, that is fast. And hey, you may be thinking, "OK, I can easily stay away from bad boys, not hard to point out at all," but that's the thing—it's not that easy. The guys that are dangerous look like some of the best guys there are. They look like Prince Charming coming in to sweep you off your feet. They give you endless compliments and roll out the red carpet every date night. They hold your hand, sing to you, and protect you. At first. See, we fall hard and fall fast and these guys are experts on what a girl wants. We melt before them and hang off of every word they say. Control is what these dudes crave, girls, and once you let them have it (without even knowing it) they become obsessed. This is the start of a long, scary ordeal known as verbal and emotional abuse.
Been there, endured that, and I strongly advise against putting yourself through it. It will flip your whole world upside down. The insecurities never let up. Everyday you wake up wondering why you aren't good enough all because you met a "nice" boy. Hidden underneath his mask is a manipulative, deceitful, unfaithful, narcissistic villain. Everything is so wonderful in the beginning. He treats you better than royalty but for a very short amount of time. When he knows he has you completely under his control, he will change, and you won't even recognize him anymore.
The scary thing about this type of abuse is that it's not easily recognizable to you. One of the biggest phrases you'll hear from girls in verbally/emotionally abusive relationships: "It's not like he hit me." But he doesn't have to. Disrespect, belittling, talking down, cussing, lying, yelling, yet you'll be blind to it all because you "love" him. I know what that feels like. He will fill your head with terrible lies about yourself, he will make you feel stupid and insignificant and worthless, and he will break your heart every step of the way. Open your eyes to what is actually happening. This is only the first step to even worse habits. That is not what love is. He will tell you he's sorry and that he doesn't mean it, but be strong enough to walk away. It isn't love no matter how you feel or what he tells you. Respect yourself and love yourself enough to know that you deserve so much more. And never believe a word he says. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are important. You are special. You are worth it. Find your real Prince Charming and wear your crown with pride.
