It's a Loud World

It's a Loud World

Introverts! Hide no longer!

What is it like to be shy? To be an introvert in a loud world?

Our way of thinking is divided between two personalities. Those that are outspoken, that steps up to the challenge and makes friends as fast as a cheetah. They are the extrovert group.

And those who don’t tend to speak out, that studies the challenge for so long before making a move, and it takes a dedicated person to make friends with them, they are the introverted group. For many extroverted people being shy is a term directly correlated with being anti-social. Or with being just a plain weirdo. But for me, an introverted person, being shy is one of the things that makes up the mysterious personality we have.

Actually being shy is actually just being observant of the world. We take the time to know our surroundings including people and ways to exit an awkward situation. It’s being articulate and precise in your work, no matter if it’s just cleaning your room. We tend to analyze every situation before jumping in. We like our “quiet time” to just recharged from battling every day with a whole what is too upbeat and cannot understand the needs of those who are introverted. It can also be a curse. In my experience it is hard to make friends and not because I’m anti-social. I enjoy meeting new people and I’m quite open. It’s just the process of making me open up that is hard. Perhaps many introverts have felt this way, but it takes much more patience and dedication to actually have someone to consider a friend. The challenge many extroverts have is become friends to someone who likes being quiet at times and who likes personal space.

Constantly I’ve had been cast off of group project or social gathering for the mere fact that “I don’t talk much.” And that bothers me. Take the time to know an introvert and don’t give up too quickly on them. Understand that they study the person before becoming friends with them. Be patient, outspoken people. Introverts are generally afraid of small conversations; I know I am. But they can go on for hours in deep discussions. So we do talk! And if provoke our voices can be heard loud and clear.

For a long time, I wanted to be extroverted, to let my voice rung out and be heard by many. I cannot because I am an introvert and that is who I will always be. But I can try to be heard, in different ways. Many introverted people are musicians, poets, authors, creators, inventors. They renovate the world not by words but actions. As Susan Cain said in her book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”, “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamp lit desk. Use your natural powers -- of persistence, concentration, and insight -- to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.”

Introversion is not abnormal. It is not something that can be cured, it is a personality. It’s the way many people live their lives. Sometimes to be powerful you have to remain quiet. And know when the opportune moment arises.

“Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. So stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don't let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don't force yourself to seek breadth. If you prefer single-tasking to multi-tasking, stick to your guns. Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way.”

Stay true to you, and no one else.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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When You Decide You Don't Love Me Anymore

I'll forgive you.


I never thought I would write this, but I feel like I have to: there will come a day where you won't love me anymore. This won't be a sad day, but instead a day I have waited for all along. You see, they all leave and that is perfectly okay. People may not be meant to be in my life for all of it, not in any of our lives but this is normal and although initially saddening it is a part of our lives and inevitably part of our journey.

When this time comes I want you to know that we did our best, that we were in fact in love once and that we had hoped it would blossom into a lifetime commitment but it didn't and I accept that and will respect you always. I know you did not wake up one day out of the blue and stop loving me, I know this feeling grew over time in your heart and that it was not something you planned on. I respect this.

You were the only person I trusted and the one I loved the most, but nothing lasts forever and I hope you can understand there is no animosity here and certainly, no stone left unturned. We just are not those kinds of people, we would have tried everything to keep our love burning bright and tried for quite a while to understand where the cracks began so that could fix them, it just isn't that simple. Love is a long complicated process, you know that and falling in love with me couldn't have been easy, I am misunderstood and stubborn as all hell and I am FULLY aware of that but that does not mean I didn't try to ease up on you, I promise I did my best.

I have always done my best to understand you, to make you happy, to keep the flame alive, but it has been extinguished. Love does that sometimes, it is there one day burning bright and then it slowly starts to dim with every fight, every unrequited "I love you" and every day passing by in which we spoke less and less about the things that mattered and more and more about worthless things.

This is all okay, it is a season of life, a part of our lives in which we do suffer but one we must grin and bear. I want you to know that I will always love and care for you, although it is now in a much different way, now we no longer look at each other with doting eyes and open hearts but instead with the freedom to let go and move on.

It is time for us to go on with our lives and find a new adventure, one that will light our hearts on fire instead of continuing to snuff our joint flame. You will always be in my memory and a huge part of my life that I once had but I accept that it's over and that time sometimes wears on things as it has worn on us.

You are the love of my life and that is truly the reason I must forgive you.

Goodbye, my love.

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