It's a Loud World

It's a Loud World

Introverts! Hide no longer!
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What is it like to be shy? To be an introvert in a loud world?

Our way of thinking is divided between two personalities. Those that are outspoken, that steps up to the challenge and makes friends as fast as a cheetah. They are the extrovert group.

And those who don’t tend to speak out, that studies the challenge for so long before making a move, and it takes a dedicated person to make friends with them, they are the introverted group. For many extroverted people being shy is a term directly correlated with being anti-social. Or with being just a plain weirdo. But for me, an introverted person, being shy is one of the things that makes up the mysterious personality we have.


Actually being shy is actually just being observant of the world. We take the time to know our surroundings including people and ways to exit an awkward situation. It’s being articulate and precise in your work, no matter if it’s just cleaning your room. We tend to analyze every situation before jumping in. We like our “quiet time” to just recharged from battling every day with a whole what is too upbeat and cannot understand the needs of those who are introverted. It can also be a curse. In my experience it is hard to make friends and not because I’m anti-social. I enjoy meeting new people and I’m quite open. It’s just the process of making me open up that is hard. Perhaps many introverts have felt this way, but it takes much more patience and dedication to actually have someone to consider a friend. The challenge many extroverts have is become friends to someone who likes being quiet at times and who likes personal space.

Constantly I’ve had been cast off of group project or social gathering for the mere fact that “I don’t talk much.” And that bothers me. Take the time to know an introvert and don’t give up too quickly on them. Understand that they study the person before becoming friends with them. Be patient, outspoken people. Introverts are generally afraid of small conversations; I know I am. But they can go on for hours in deep discussions. So we do talk! And if provoke our voices can be heard loud and clear.

For a long time, I wanted to be extroverted, to let my voice rung out and be heard by many. I cannot because I am an introvert and that is who I will always be. But I can try to be heard, in different ways. Many introverted people are musicians, poets, authors, creators, inventors. They renovate the world not by words but actions. As Susan Cain said in her book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”, “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamp lit desk. Use your natural powers -- of persistence, concentration, and insight -- to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.”


Introversion is not abnormal. It is not something that can be cured, it is a personality. It’s the way many people live their lives. Sometimes to be powerful you have to remain quiet. And know when the opportune moment arises.

“Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. So stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don't let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don't force yourself to seek breadth. If you prefer single-tasking to multi-tasking, stick to your guns. Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way.”

Stay true to you, and no one else.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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21 Lies College Students Tell Their Parents

I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these.

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Let's be honest. College is the best time of your life for a lot of reasons, and maybe you should not tell your mom all of them when she calls. I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these, and the others — maybe you should try next time!

1. "I can't talk now, I'm in the library."

Typically used when the student is too hungover to talk.

2. "Gotta go now, I'm walking into class."

Then hit play on Netflix.

3. "I think it might be food poisoning."

Was it the food, or all of that alcohol? Your symptoms sound more like a hangover to me.

4. "No, I didn't just wake up."

It is 4 p.m. and, yes, you did.

5. "I need more money for laundry and food."

Meaning, "I need more money for things I don't think you will give me money for."

6. "I never skip class!"

When we use this one, it usually does not refer to anything before 11 a.m.

7. "I studied all night for that test!"

If by "studied all night" you mean you watched TV shows in the library, then, yes, all night.

8. "Everyone failed that test."

And by everyone, I mean me and my friend who did not go to sleep until 3 a.m.

9. "I'm walking home from breakfast with my friends."

Yeah, OK. You are just lucky she cannot see last night's outfit and the high heels you are carrying. We know where you have been.

10. "Potbelly's is a restaurant."

I mean, they may sell tacos, but I'm not sure I would call it a restaurant.

11. "I go to Cantina's for the Nachos."

I hope that is not the only reason but, hey, you do you.

12. "The $40 charge on the card from last Saturday? That was for school supplies!"

Yeah, right. It was for a new dress.

13. "Nobody goes out on weeknights, especially not me."

We all know grades come first, right?

14. "I can't remember the last time I went out!"

Literally.

15. "I make my bed regularly"

About as often as I clean the bathroom.

16. "I did not say 'Margarita Monday,' I said I went to 'Margaret's on Monday'!"

Following the use of this lie, do not post any pictures on social media of you with a margarita.

17. "I use my meal plan, and eat in the dining hall all the time."

As you scarf down Chick-fil-A.

18. "I eat healthy!"

For those without a meal plan who have to grocery shop on their own, we all know you spend $2 on a 12-pack of Ramen noodles and the rest on a different kind of 12-pack.

19. "No, I don't have a fake ID."

OK, "John Smith," and where exactly in Wyoming are you from?

20. "I'm doing great in all of my classes."

We use this one because you cannot see our grades online, anymore.

21. "I did not wait until the last minute to start on this."

We all know that if you start a paper before 10 p.m. the night before it is due, you are doing something wrong.

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To Love a Broken Vase — An Ode To Valentine's Day

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." --David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

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I remember an anecdote my elementary school teacher told us in the fifth grade. When a mother is pregnant with a child, they feel comfortable in their flesh. Provided with everything they needed to survive, they don't have to worry about anything. It's not until after they are born and the umbilical chord is severed that they realized they were not good enough, and insecurities fester.

I went through a similar process when I was growing up. Contained within my family and books, I felt like I held the world in my hands. It was not until high school where I seriously sought out others for company and wanted to apply myself to the social universe. And I saw myself changing in not only my behaviors, but how I see myself within the world.

With working hard to get good grades, with trying to get my driver's license, and becoming a better person overall, I realized the process involved a lot more effort than I ever had expected. And I found myself unprepared for the slow drudgery of it all. While I once pushed through to get things done, now I find myself giving up on projects while coming up with new ones. I frequently turned to my laptop for solace, as it kept my fantasies alive, but it also stole time away from me.

These behaviors showed in my relationships: I found it hard to meet up with friends, and my parents started worrying about what would my future look like. With the latter, I've had multiple conflicts with them, with me asserting I wanted to be free from everything, including accountability. Of course, that perception was quite unrealistic — to love and be loved, as well as to succeed, there has to a tug to know when you're doing something wrong.

***

A year ago, I wrote an article about how I saw romantic love from somebody who has never been in a relationship. Many things still apply today — I'm better off working towards my educational and career goals than seeking out love, though with Valentine's Day, it still fascinates me on whether or not I could be loved from somebody else.

From what I've heard from others, they would be charmed by my intelligence and kindness, neither fulfilling the stereotype of a nerd nor the perfect angel. However, the naivete would also put someone off, and potentially puts them in danger. I also see myself as the spontaneous type, but to the point where I forget where my priorities are, again making them worse than they really are. I imagine they would be intrigued by me as a friend or a lover, but end up breaking away after a short amount of time.

I don't imagine finding myself loving other people in the short term; however, I find myself open towards others. And that what makes me more afraid about how people view me--will they not be able to see the positives in myself when the time comes? Will they be just as capable of forgiving me the same way my family does?

At the end, I should take my friend's advice for Valentine's Day — love oneself. And take actions to make sure that I can love myself deeper and further.

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