I’m in my early 20’s, a college student, and trying my best to be independent. While I’m not afraid to ask for help I prefer not to. Everyone has their own story, path, and things holding them back, but are those any reason to make excuses? We are all different, yes, but at some point we all start growing up. There are ups and downs to being an adult, and there are days you might wish for a childhood carefree attitude, but in the end it will be better for you to become more reliant on yourself.

In high school I admit that I was greatly helped by my parents, especially my mom, and I can’t thank them enough for what they did for me. She practically wrote my college entrance essays for me because I was 16, naive, and disrespectful of deadlines. I wouldn’t have gotten into college if it wasn’t for her. Often we don’t realize what our parents do for us, and do not thank them, nor respect them, for their efforts. I took a lot for granted, and while I realize now all she did for me, I know I could have been more appreciative in the moment. My parents helped me look up answers for tests during my online classes phases, and my mom did more than her fair share of one senior final project. I may have been overloaded with school and my profession (I started working at 10), but that was no excuse to wait till last minute and put that on her. I was definitely still at an age where I needed mommy to help me. To be honest, that’s fine; there are times we still need our parents and for some, that help may extend further into your life and again, it’s OK.

Moving on, college came around, and I’m proud of how it took me moving away and mom setting boundaries for me to realize that I wanted to be able to do things for myself. Because of personal reasons (although there should be no excuse) this took longer than it should have, but once I started to pay for myself and move forward I realized I liked it better. I know now that if anything was to happen to my family and I’m left on my own I can survive, and I won’t be freaking out.

Today I am truly independent, and trust me, it’s not all lollipops and sunshine. Financially it can be hard because as humans we like to do things, own things, etc., yet we still have responsibilities and must find the line between want and need. I would like to buy more things and travel more, but I have to decide when enough is enough. So I am now cutting back on my spending, selling a ton of stuff, and trying to get rid of the excess. It can’t help me to have a life so cluttered. "Do I use any of this stuff?" is a hard question that I ask myself daily.

Just as a heads up, here is a sample list of expenses you will have to pay for when you move out on your own, or in with a roommate (varies from person to person).

• Rent
• Cell Phone
• Internet and Cable/TV
• Insurance (Renters, Vehicle, Health, Home)
• Transportation/Fuel
• Utilities (Water, Gas, Electric, Trash)
• Food
• Outside Entertainment
• Credit Cards
• Personal Care Items (shampoo, deodorant)
• Clothing
• Household Items (mops, toilet paper)
• Emergencies and Medical
• Repairs on all items
• Dry Cleaning
• Storage rental
• Gifts
• Vehicle Maintenance (oil, smog)
• Laundry (machine fees, detergent)
• Mailbox rental
• Traveling ANYWHERE
• Magazine Subscriptions
• Memberships (gym)
• Personal Care (hair, nail, body)
• Taxes

For those in College we have most of the above and also have:

• College Loans
• Fees for everything
• Books and School Supplies
• Food Cards
• Tuition
• Parking
• Traveling, including going home or spring break (any break really)
• Sorority/Fraternity
• Athletics

Did you think about all these items as a kid or even as a teenager? Did you ever ask your parents how much a month they have to spend to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, and a car in safe condition before they started shelling out money for you?

Every month I am astounded by how much I must give to other people because I’ve allowed myself to gain debt, and I have monthly payments that must be made or I will loose the roof over my head, the car I need for my job, my safety and health benefits, etc. For those whose parents are able to care for them during their college years, I say start preparing because once those four years are up you may or may not have their help on every little thing. You at least should be aware of what’s about to come at you and what you will need to take care of.

I want to mention my debt. Credit Cards are both a gift and a curse. You will find that they offer excellent rewards but be warned now: those dollars rack up and soon you have thousands in debt because you just wanted to go out and/or have nice things. DON’T FALL FOR IT. Use credit cards for the rewards, yes, but only spend what you can pay off by the next billing due date. Otherwise, you will pay heaps in interest expense (the right to borrow the bank’s money), which can be almost 20-30% of how much you spent. It’s not good, especially when you are trying to be independent, because as you split money between bills and what you want to buy, you realize you don’t have any money left for the latter. Sometimes, you even have to say goodbye to your friends for a while so they don’t encourage you to spend. I will mention that I am an emotional spender; when things are rough or I don’t feel good about myself, I buy stuff to make me happy. Sadly, I didn’t have the understanding to realize that I was drowning myself in the process. If you let moments define you, it will hurt you in the long run.

Also, student loans never go away. EVER. Even if you file for bankruptcy, you will always have your student loans. So, if you are like me and you are paying for school yourself, start paying the student loans off while you are incurring them and budget your life. Otherwise, get yourself a great paying job and start paying way more than you would normally.

Also, beware that you might not get a job right out of college or the job you get may not be the one you wanted or even in your field of study. You might have to get two or three jobs just to make ends meet. In college you need to be gaining work experience and learn ethics about working. If you display an unprofessional and childish attitude at work, THEY WILL FIRE YOU! And, remember that list I told you about, you still have to pay all that. Start learning how to handle being an adult now! It doesn’t mean giving up your life: it’s learning that you have to balance it.

Life happens and therefore you should be prepared. Learn how to get your car checked (smog test, oil changed, tires rotated, etc.). Learn how to get and understand health, car, and rental insurance. Figure out your budget and stick to your plan. Indulge sometimes and have a life but take into account that every dollar spent is a dollar you no longer have. Make meals at home because eating out every day/night is expensive, and you are wasting so much of your hard earned dollars … or your parent’s dollars.

Every time I go into ANY store, I walk out with a receipt that is double to quadruple the amount I intended to spend. It’s a bad habit to acquire and something to be careful of.

I by no means know about everyone’s life or situations and as I said, this is just my opinion, but if it helps me, maybe it will help someone else. Being independent feels great, and I know I have a long way to go and a lot of work still left to accomplish. I left my mother’s womb a long time ago and, while she still held my hand when I needed it, I am confident now that life can throw me a curve ball and I’ll bounce back with a home run. Then again, I could fall on my face but, hey, at least I know I’ll get back up.

There are ways to accomplish, learn, and be successful at anything. Some learn this the hard way, some hold onto their parents support for years longer than others, some find life to be easy, and some have had a hard life. We are all different but we are all growing up and we can and will succeed.