Now that this past semester is over, I've taken the time to look back and reflect on everything that I have gone through. Who would have known that I would endure so much in 17 short weeks?
I'm not going to lie, it was absolute hell for me. Yes, I had my good days but overall it was miserable. I was miserable.
My goal for this year was to land a summer internship. Unfortunately, that was not the case for me and it really led me to beat myself up. I had worked so hard applying for hundreds of internships, going to workshops and networking events, building my resume and rewriting it over and over and over.. but nothing came of that hard work and dedication. I had a few interviews but I usually never heard back or would receive one of the dreaded 'thank you for your interest BUT we've found a candidate with better qualifications' emails.
On top of that, school, the student newspaper, and my home life came crashing down on me and the stress became too much. I never thought of myself as an unhappy person or potentially one to have a mental health disorder ut I suddenly came to realize that even the happiest person could fall into the deep abyss of loneliness and sadness, even when with a group. I began spending a lot of time by myself, avoiding my apartment and office and even disregarded responsibilities, which wasn't like me at all. I had always been happy and positive but everything around me had made me cold. As the semester came to an end, I began to become less cold and decided that I should look on the bright side.
I'm very glad I was able to pull myself out of the darkness that had taken over me and I am forever grateful to my friends and family for helping me through a tough time in my life. Life will knock you down but you have to get back up and keep trying. It's hard to stay positive when life gets hard and it may put you in a terrible place but you will find a way out.
Currently - I am in the interview process for a summer internship with AccuWeather and just accepted a fall internship with Penn State Athletics. I couldn't be happier that everything slowly but surely fell into place. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and I now believe in that even more because of everything that has recently happened.
It just goes to show that no matter how bad things get, it does get better. Believe in that and believe in yourself. You are good enough. You will reach your goals. You will find happiness. Life is tough but so are you.
