Dating is something that has evolved drastically over the past few decades. When I was younger, I always thought of dating in an old-fashioned sense. A boy picks you up from your house, your father gives him a few words of intimidation, and then you and your date leave for dinner and a movie. Boy, was I wrong. What I have realized is that dating is nothing like it is in the movies. We are not in the 1940s anymore, folks. Chivalry is a dying art in the year 2017.
Ever since the sexual revolution in the 1960s, I feel as if we may have never gotten out of it. It has integrated itself in the dating world, and has caused a problem for those who believe in dating the old-fashioned way.
Let me break it down for you how dating works nowadays:
You download a dating app on your phone because apparently we are all too socially declined to meet people in person. You swipe right on this cute guy. Dark hair, blue eyes, and 6’1 (don’t worry, he put his height in his bio.) He’s totally your type. You guys match (oh my gosh, he thinks I am physically attractive because that is all that matters!). He messages you first because girls don’t make the first move, obviously. You and this guy, we’ll call him Jerry, have the most awfully basic conversation that starts with “Hey” “Hi” “Sup” “Not much, how ‘bout you?” Then Jerry asks you the question you were dreading, “Hey, you down to like watch a movie tonight at my place?” Even though you know what “watching a movie” implies, you agree to it anyways. Then as you’re driving over to Jerry’s house that night, you have a full-blown anxiety attack and have the urge to throw up. You’re so nervous because you are meeting Jerry for the first time, and you have to “watch a movie” with him. You don’t actually want to watch a movie with Jerry, but you know Jerry doesn’t want anything more than “watching” this movie. Then you pull into his driveway, think about driving off and just texting him that something came up, but actually you just feel like you’re going to upchuck all over your front seat. But, then he opens his front door, and he’s standing there waiting. And all you can think is “Shit! Now I have to watch this movie with Jerry.” So then you’re forced to get out of your car, awkwardly hug Jerry while you’re crying internally. Then Jerry leads you upstairs to his bedroom, where the lights are conveniently off and Netflix is pulled up on his TV. He climbs in his bed and tells you to “come here”. Then Jerry turns on “Gossip Girl”, which totally isn’t even a movie. Jerry proceeds to put his hand on your thigh, and then…you know. You and Jerry “watch a movie.” Then Jerry asks you to leave at 2am, and on your drive home all you can think is how much you never want to see Jerry again. But, don’t worry. Because Jerry is going to hit you up 4 nights later at 11:31pm asking if you wanna “watch a movie.”
That is exactly how dating goes when you're between the ages 18-23. Or if you’re lucky, you’ll meet a 24 year old grown man on Tinder, and he ACTUALLY offers to take you to a movie. You rejoice and think “Maybe chivalry isn’t dead after all!”. Wrong again, honey. This 24 year old man stands you up twice. You get all ready for him. You put on makeup, wear a nice outfit. Put on your favorite perfume. Then he calls you 20 minutes after the movie already started, and says “Sorry, I’m too sleepy.” So you call him out on this BS and he says “I don’t know why you’re so upset. It’s not like this was a date. I’m more of a go with the flow kinda guy. I thought we were just hanging out.” Oh my bad. I forgot that modern dating is just “going with the flow.” Let’s just “hang out.” What this really means is that this boy will drag you around for a good four months. You’ll text each other every day. Hang out a few times a week. Do what some people might consider “dating”. But, it’s nothing too serious though because you guys are just “hanging out.”
The main point of this whole thing is that we can’t even consider this “dating” anymore. It is as if we have forgotten the most important part of a relationship between you and another person. What’s underneath this person besides the physical attraction? Who are they as a human being? What are their aspirations in life? What is their relationship with their family? I feel like dating has lost its charm. People are too caught up in the physical aspect, that we forget that we are all people with thoughts and emotions. I just wish that dating came with respecting one another. Treating them like they should be treated. Take your man or woman out on a DATE. Show him or her off. Get to actually know this person. Because you never know, if you try hard enough, this person could turn out more than just a “watching a movie” type of person after all.