Is There a Such Thing as Being “Too Nice”?

Is There a Such Thing as Being “Too Nice”?

When you feel like you are giving them your all, but feel like a half empty cup, left hanging.

It is ingrained in our society that we should always be nice to others. Without a doubt. I distinctly remember the long banner that illustrated the “Golden Rule” in fancy, shiny, gold letters. It guided us to treat others the way we wanted to be treated. To me, this is such a prominent rule that applies to my life every single day. Even past Kindergarten, I think this can be applied to all adults in any situation. However, lately, I have been thinking more and wonder if following this rule whole-heartedly only hinders and hurts me in the end.

When I care for someone, I want to do anything I possibly can to help them in anyway. By no means am I sitting here boasting about how good of a friend I am. However, I do try my best. If they are in a slump, I attempt to boost up their spirits with a small pep talk to really show them how amazing they really are. If they are going through a tough situation, I try to sit there for as long as possible to listen and let them know that I am there for them. I want everyone I care about to know I will support them through whatever situation or personal crisis they are fighting through.

I try to give my all for the people I care about; however, recently, I feel taken advantage of. When I took a step back, the people who I listen to and help don’t do the same for me. It is never ever my expectation to want something in return for what I do for my friends. However, there are more than enough occasions when my friend does not ask me about my day or what issues I am having. Sometimes, I don’t feel like the people show enough to me that lets me know I have them when I am in need.

When that feeling arises, it is really sad. When you feel like you are giving them your all, but feel like a half empty cup, left hanging, not receiving the same genuine feeling of friendship. When situations like these hit me, I question if it’s me. Am I doing something wrong? Do I put myself in a position to be taken advantage of? However, after a year at college where I learned to be more true to myself and stick to my beliefs, I realized it is most definitely not me. I give everyone my best and I am not ashamed.

I like showing people I am a sincere person who gives the most to my friends. Therefore, in scenarios when I feel taken advantage of, I know to speak up and let them know. Most of the time, they don’t know they make me feel like that. If they change, they do care about you. If they don’t, reevaluate if they are meant to be in your life because you don’t deserve to be in that position. You don’t deserve to be friends with someone who will leave you feeling unappreciated for all that you do. Find people who will surprise you with random texts that say, “I appreciate you for all that you do.” These are the friends who see how amazing you are. They see how much you do for them and don’t take anything for granted. In the long run, these are the people who will make your lives happier and brighter. It is common in life to bump up with people who will degrade you or overlook all that you do. However, through these situations, learn the lesson of always sticking up for yourself. Taking care of yourself comes first and it always should. Once you realize this key point, your life can only change for the better – trust me, I know.

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.

I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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Stop Assuming Your Queer Friends Are Going To End Up Falling For You

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none.


Ever since I came out my senior year, I've encountered bumps of my friendships due to my sexuality. I think people understand gay, lesbian, and bisexual identities rather well. However, there are other members of the LGBTQ+ community that isn't as understood as well.

I identify as pansexual but start using the term queer. Essentially, I don't have a preference if someone identifies as female or male. When it comes to love and relationships, I care about the quality of the person and if I'm getting the love and respect I deserve.

However, to some of my friends, they seemed to become afraid. They distanced themselves in our friendships in fear I would end up falling for them.

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none. You are my friend for a reason. If I liked you, I would honestly be too nervous to talk to you.

It's nice to know to have that kind of self-confidence where you think everyone has a crush on you. That's the attitude to have because you are a pretty great person. However, sorry to break it to you, but you just are not my type.

There is absolutely no reason to cut off a friendship just because you don't understand. Your queer friends would probably like you to ask questions. It can be a sign you care about them and showing support. There is nothing wrong with asking questions either. When you're in class and you don't know anything, then you ask a question. When you are getting to know someone, you ask questions. Even if you knew this person for a while, ask away!

I think there is a stigma of not knowing something and feeling embarrassed. However, it shouldn't be this way. We should embrace the unknown, learn, and grow from it. It's 2019. It's all about being open-minded to differences. We have to do better for the next generation.

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