Is There a Such Thing as Being “Too Nice”?

Is There a Such Thing as Being “Too Nice”?

When you feel like you are giving them your all, but feel like a half empty cup, left hanging.
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It is ingrained in our society that we should always be nice to others. Without a doubt. I distinctly remember the long banner that illustrated the “Golden Rule” in fancy, shiny, gold letters. It guided us to treat others the way we wanted to be treated. To me, this is such a prominent rule that applies to my life every single day. Even past Kindergarten, I think this can be applied to all adults in any situation. However, lately, I have been thinking more and wonder if following this rule whole-heartedly only hinders and hurts me in the end.

When I care for someone, I want to do anything I possibly can to help them in anyway. By no means am I sitting here boasting about how good of a friend I am. However, I do try my best. If they are in a slump, I attempt to boost up their spirits with a small pep talk to really show them how amazing they really are. If they are going through a tough situation, I try to sit there for as long as possible to listen and let them know that I am there for them. I want everyone I care about to know I will support them through whatever situation or personal crisis they are fighting through.

I try to give my all for the people I care about; however, recently, I feel taken advantage of. When I took a step back, the people who I listen to and help don’t do the same for me. It is never ever my expectation to want something in return for what I do for my friends. However, there are more than enough occasions when my friend does not ask me about my day or what issues I am having. Sometimes, I don’t feel like the people show enough to me that lets me know I have them when I am in need.

When that feeling arises, it is really sad. When you feel like you are giving them your all, but feel like a half empty cup, left hanging, not receiving the same genuine feeling of friendship. When situations like these hit me, I question if it’s me. Am I doing something wrong? Do I put myself in a position to be taken advantage of? However, after a year at college where I learned to be more true to myself and stick to my beliefs, I realized it is most definitely not me. I give everyone my best and I am not ashamed.

I like showing people I am a sincere person who gives the most to my friends. Therefore, in scenarios when I feel taken advantage of, I know to speak up and let them know. Most of the time, they don’t know they make me feel like that. If they change, they do care about you. If they don’t, reevaluate if they are meant to be in your life because you don’t deserve to be in that position. You don’t deserve to be friends with someone who will leave you feeling unappreciated for all that you do. Find people who will surprise you with random texts that say, “I appreciate you for all that you do.” These are the friends who see how amazing you are. They see how much you do for them and don’t take anything for granted. In the long run, these are the people who will make your lives happier and brighter. It is common in life to bump up with people who will degrade you or overlook all that you do. However, through these situations, learn the lesson of always sticking up for yourself. Taking care of yourself comes first and it always should. Once you realize this key point, your life can only change for the better – trust me, I know.


Cover Image Credit: http://www.shunvmall.com/pictures-of-friendship.html

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Dear Mom, Now That I'm Older

A letter to the woman who made me the woman I am today.
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Dear Mom,

Now that I'm older, I definitely appreciate you a lot more than I did as a kid. I appreciate the little things, from the random text messages to constantly tagging me on Facebook in your "funny" photos and sending me pins of stuff I like on Pinterest. Now that I'm older, I can look back and realize that everything I am is all because of you. You've made me strong but realize it's okay to cry. You've shown me how a mother gives everything to her children to give them a better life than she had, even when she's left with nothing. And, most importantly you've taught me to never give up and without this, I would not be where I am today.

Mom, now that I'm older, I realize that you're the best friend I'm ever going to have. You cheer me on when I try new things and support me in deciding to be whatever person I want to be. Thank you for never telling me I can't do something and helping me figure out ways to be the best woman I can be. Your love for me is unconditional. They say true, unconditional love can only come from God, but mom, I think you're a pretty close second.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter To The Cool Mom

Now that I'm older, I don't get to see you as much. But not seeing you as much just makes the times I do get to see you the absolute best, and I look forward to it every time. Now that I'm older, I'm not going to live at home. But, I promise to always come back because I know the door is always open. Your house is always going to be my home, and no other place is going to be the same.

Now that I'm older, I realize how much I miss you taking care of me. I miss you making me dinner, making sure I was doing well in school, and taking me to endless appointments. I miss you waking me up for school and then waking me up again because I didn't listen the first time.

But, Mom, now that I'm older, I can see all that you've done for me. I can look back and see how big of a brat I was but you still loved me (and let me live) anyways. I can understand why you did certain things and frankly, you're one bada** of a woman.

To have you as my mom and my best friend has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, Mom, now that I'm older, thank you, for everything.

Love,

Your Daughter

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To The People I Could Never Live Without

You always did your very best to support me and loved me every step of the way.

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Mom, over the years we have grown and developed our relationship beyond what we thought it would ever be. You know I have always been an independent soul, ready to go off on my own from a young age without a single care in the world. As you also know, I am very stubborn and want to do things my own way. Always have, probably always will.

I wanted to thank you for taking such care of me for as long as you did. Knowing you were on your own for the most part, well until Derrick came along. You always did your very best to support me and loved me every step of the way. I still remember you calling me pudding pop for as long as I can remember. I never knew where it came from, but I loved hearing it. Growing up and going through puberty caused a lot of fights for us. You were trying to teach me and make me understand the mistakes I was so hellbent on making for myself. I want you to know that I have always loved you and always will.

Derrick, I honestly can't remember a time when you weren't in my life. You have always been there to support me and cheer me on. You'd pull my baby teeth out when I was too scared to do it myself. You would trick me into thinking I was late for school on Saturday. You watch scary movies with me because I won't watch them alone. We have so many TV series that we've started and abandoned, waiting to be picked back up again.

I want to thank you for treating me like your own, even though I'm not related to you by blood. You have always made me feel loved and cherished and never made me feel out of place. I know I can count on you to be there for me when I need you to be, no matter what. We may not be blood, but you are and forever will be my family.

Dalton, do you know what the first memory I remember with you? Mom was picking me up from daycare after she had gone to the doctors to find out if you were a boy or a girl. I remember that mom and I guessed girl, but Derrick said you were going to be a boy. Mom and I were wrong, obviously, but I remember being happy that we found something else out about you. Even though I was complaining that Derrick was right, I was so excited that we were one step closer to meeting you.

You have been my partner in crime. You watch musicals with me and sing at the top of your lungs when I feel like having a concert in the kitchen. You get involved in everything that interests me as a way to stay close to me. I love you more than life itself. I will forever be there for you for help and advice so don't hesitate to call. If you ever find yourself doubting my affection for you, just remember the time when I almost fought that fake intruder in my towel, fully prepared to fight naked if someone broke in.

I love you all so very much!

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