Is There a Such Thing as Being “Too Nice”?

Is There a Such Thing as Being “Too Nice”?

When you feel like you are giving them your all, but feel like a half empty cup, left hanging.

It is ingrained in our society that we should always be nice to others. Without a doubt. I distinctly remember the long banner that illustrated the “Golden Rule” in fancy, shiny, gold letters. It guided us to treat others the way we wanted to be treated. To me, this is such a prominent rule that applies to my life every single day. Even past Kindergarten, I think this can be applied to all adults in any situation. However, lately, I have been thinking more and wonder if following this rule whole-heartedly only hinders and hurts me in the end.

When I care for someone, I want to do anything I possibly can to help them in anyway. By no means am I sitting here boasting about how good of a friend I am. However, I do try my best. If they are in a slump, I attempt to boost up their spirits with a small pep talk to really show them how amazing they really are. If they are going through a tough situation, I try to sit there for as long as possible to listen and let them know that I am there for them. I want everyone I care about to know I will support them through whatever situation or personal crisis they are fighting through.

I try to give my all for the people I care about; however, recently, I feel taken advantage of. When I took a step back, the people who I listen to and help don’t do the same for me. It is never ever my expectation to want something in return for what I do for my friends. However, there are more than enough occasions when my friend does not ask me about my day or what issues I am having. Sometimes, I don’t feel like the people show enough to me that lets me know I have them when I am in need.

When that feeling arises, it is really sad. When you feel like you are giving them your all, but feel like a half empty cup, left hanging, not receiving the same genuine feeling of friendship. When situations like these hit me, I question if it’s me. Am I doing something wrong? Do I put myself in a position to be taken advantage of? However, after a year at college where I learned to be more true to myself and stick to my beliefs, I realized it is most definitely not me. I give everyone my best and I am not ashamed.

I like showing people I am a sincere person who gives the most to my friends. Therefore, in scenarios when I feel taken advantage of, I know to speak up and let them know. Most of the time, they don’t know they make me feel like that. If they change, they do care about you. If they don’t, reevaluate if they are meant to be in your life because you don’t deserve to be in that position. You don’t deserve to be friends with someone who will leave you feeling unappreciated for all that you do. Find people who will surprise you with random texts that say, “I appreciate you for all that you do.” These are the friends who see how amazing you are. They see how much you do for them and don’t take anything for granted. In the long run, these are the people who will make your lives happier and brighter. It is common in life to bump up with people who will degrade you or overlook all that you do. However, through these situations, learn the lesson of always sticking up for yourself. Taking care of yourself comes first and it always should. Once you realize this key point, your life can only change for the better – trust me, I know.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Being The Last Friend To Turn 21 Isn't ALL Bad

All your friends have turned 21, but that is okay


You may think being the last one out of your friend group to turn twenty-one is the worst thing in the world, but in all honesty, it doesn't have to be. One of the biggest perks is that everyone of your friends can go out to the bars with you on your birthday. All the people who turn twenty-one first have to wait for people to be able to go out with them, but you get to celebrate your birthday with all of your friends.

Another huge reason you should feel okay with being last to turn twenty-one is thinking about all the money you are saving. The bars are expensive. When you don't go to the bars you are saving so much money because an average bar drink is about seven dollars. This being said seven dollars multiple times a night, multiple nights a week really adds up, so you are going to have to budget your money better.

You don't have to be the one to buy alcohol for everyone else. Having a ton of people ask you to buy them alcohol must get annoying at a point, and if you're the youngest out of your friends, no one will be asking you to do liquor store runs for them because they can all go already for themselves.

The biggest reason is that you can enjoy being young. You should still continue to enjoy going to house parties and just being able to hang out with friends without having to go to the bars. Spend these months before you turn twenty-one just being able to enjoy life without feeling obligated to go out to the bars all the time. You have a great excuse when you don't want to drink on a weekday to just stay in. This being said it will be your turn to turn twenty-one soon.


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