It is no surprise to us that marriage is no fairytale ending, but a saga of sacrifice, joy, children, stress, love, jobs, bills, and, sometimes—divorce. Although the idea of marriage is evolving, we Millennials may change this idea more radically than any previous generation. The circumstance of marriage starts off as flawed because it is man-made.
Although my parents have been happily married for twenty-three years, I never seriously considered the idea of marriage. Boomers, my parents’ generation, opened the door for more women to have greater access to education and careers. Hooray! But, once they opened it, they fell down on what to do next. They did not figure out how to balance it all and, as a consequence, it left many Millennials stung by parental separation and divorce. So, now that the opened door has left us in an empty room, what can we Millennials change in our culture to make it better for our generation?
The institutionalized expectations and pressures for women to get married and have children at a certain youthful age have always been present in society. Making the transition into adulthood, young women are now examining what matrimony means to them. With the rise of hookup culture dominating college campuses, sex is becoming less special and the notion of love is becoming cloudy. Many are finding that love and sex do not always coincide.
Years ago, marriage was used as a means for people to live together and have sex. These days, 25 percent of unmarried Millennials are having sex with the person they live with but are leaving out marriage. Marriage for our predecessors looked different. Typically, the average age of married women would be 20, and it was 23 for men. Now, the average age is around 30, if people decide to get married at all.
As I entered college and relationships were put to the test, I questioned marriage even more. Many of my peers from home or school grew up with divorced Boomer parents. Although everyone’s story differs, we all question this traditional expectation. Our culture is rapidly changing. As more Millennials graduate from college, they choose not to marry due to economic hardships. Both men and women are postponing their “I dos” because of student debt. Statistics show that women are the ones who want to hold off marriage. They want economic stability for themselves and their potential partner. Plus, science gives women the leverage to have or not have a baby. Methods such as in vitro fertilization give women the advantage to have babies on their own time and without a spouse.
But, with these new freedoms, we (both females and males) need to figure out how to make the most of these opportunities. How do we rock the baby without rocking the relationship with our partners? How can we fulfill our dreams and aspirations for our careers and balance love and family? Can the generation that put Snapchat and Instragram on every Millennial’s iPhone use its social networks and communities to make marriage, family, career and life itself better than any generation that preceded us? I think so…in fact, I know so.
