There’s no doubt that today’s culture floods the minds of the youth with a skewed view of sex, the context in which it should occur, and its purpose. I, too, have been affected by this culture, and it’s caused me a great amount of pain and heartache. I’ve watched others, as well as experienced myself, desperately chase after this idea of love, or what we’ve been told is love.

I was in 7th grade on a retreat when I was finally told that this wasn’t the truth. This love others told me would make me happy wasn’t real love at all. I didn’t have to give my body to every man that told me I should, that I should save sex for marriage because I would be able to give my spouse myself in entirety on our wedding night. This was also the first of many times I was given a chastity card. They told us these cutesy stories about how there were people who, on their wedding day, gave their spouse the chastity card they signed in high school and how they’d been praying for them for years before they’d met them, hoping that they, too, had the will to save themselves for marriage. As a 7th grader I thought this was adorable. My checklist went from tall, dark, and handsome to tall, dark, handsome, and holy. Despite the fact that I’d later realize a paper card wouldn’t make waiting much easier, and despite the cheesy analogies I also heard on the retreat, that I was a beautiful princess or an unblemished rose, (can you feel my eyes rolling?) something changed in me that day. That was the day I decided I was worth something, and that maybe there was something more to this whole saving sex for marriage thing than I thought.

This passion and drive for saving myself for marriage lasted for quite some time, but over the years I’ve let myself justify different actions and stretch my morals in order to make my significant others happy and to fit in. I found myself falling back into the mindset of the culture that sex is simply for pleasure, and although it is an act of love, I could love multiple people. No one had reminded me that I was worth more. I convinced myself that I just simply wasn’t worth waiting for and that if I wanted love, I needed to change my morals, and prove that I, too, was enough for someone else simply by showing them that in a physical manner. Looking at it now, I feel really stupid for letting myself fall for the lies that I allowed to consume my thoughts and drive my actions. That’s all they were, lies, and I let them lead me further down the path of darkness I often find myself walking on. I’d been searching for love and happiness in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways.

By choosing to save sex for marriage, I am expressing that I love and respect myself as well as my future spouse. I’ve seen premarital sex destroy relationships, friendships, and families. I’ve walked alongside too many friends as they faced teen pregnancy, single parenthood, and have tried to escape unhealthy and abusive relationships. I’ve witnessed the emotional scars people wear because of premarital sex. Sex doesn’t simply unite two people on a physical level; it’s much more than that.

We all deserve commitment. We deserve authentic love. It won’t be easy, but we aren’t called to settle for less than what we were made for. We’re made to give of ourselves unconditionally, not to take from others with condition. Saving sex for marriage promises forever; it promises to be true to your spouse in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. It promises that you will love and honor them all the days of your life. It says that you know that you are loved and that you are worth waiting for.

I am loved, and I am worth waiting for.

So are you.