Have you ever watched a "college" movie and then had certain expectations that were not met when you started this fall or is it just me? Am I doing college wrong? After just finishing my first semester in college, I've definitely enjoyed it, but when comparing it to others around me and other friends, I feel like I've been doing it wrong. I have many "am I alone in this" moments, when I compare myself to others. I know that comparing to others is never healthy or helpful, but as this is a completely new chapter in my life, this is uncharted territory. How do I know how to do it right? But lately, I feel that I need to start doing things differently. When people ask about my college life, I feel that I disappoint them with my answers. Sometimes when thinking about my first semester, I feel that it was somehow lacking in some way, which I'm not ashamed or in any way feel incomplete, but it does make me wonder how everyone else is doing this. So here are 5 questions I have, asking, "Is it just me?"
1. Should I have this huge group of close and intimate friends?
When looking at other girls, I see them in these HUGE groups of people. They seem to know everyone on campus, they're popular, but not too popular, and seem to have gotten so close in only a few months. I have a couple of friends, but not this huge group. Am I supposed to know so many people that I we can barely fit in a picture? Am I supposed to have made lifelong friends already? I feel that it's so late in the game, people have made their friends and moved on. As an introvert it's hard to meet people, but should I have put myself out there by now? And is it weird to hang on to my old friends too? No one else has seemed to really.
2. Should I be dating by now?
Was I supposed to have a boyfriend by now? Because that didn't happen. I feel that everyone has been dating already, and I've barely even looked up from my books, have I somehow missed out on some important experience? People, relatives, friends, ask about my "love life" and I answer honestly and their response always makes me wonder if I was supposed to put myself out there. Was I supposed to have met "the one" by now or something? Or should I be searching? This doesn't feel very important to me, but should it be?
3. Should my grades be better? Or worse?
My grades are decent. They're not horrible, they're not brilliant either. Am I supposed to be doing better than I am or worse? I know people who are failing and others who are exceeding all expectations, but me? I'm average. Should I be doing better? I always did well in high school but now I'm "average." Should I be studying more or be doing better by now?
4. Should I have a "thing"?
People seem to have their "things." They're artsy, or they're a theater major, they're this brilliant music artist, or they have sports. I don't really seem to have a thing, I do things, I try to join in, but I don't seem to have a particular "thing." Should I go out and find my "thing?"
5. Should I have an exact plan for my life now?
A LOT of people seem to have this exact plan mapped out for their life. Their degree plan is made, they have internships planned out, they know what they want from life. They have goals and expectations, and more impressive, they know how to reach their goals. Am I supposed to know all of this now? I thought I had time but it seems that I'm supposed to know now. I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow, how am I supposed to know what to do with the rest of my life at 19?
