Take a moment to reminisce with me. We’re going all the way back to 2010, when your hair was probably terrible and you may have had a thing for brightly colored (insert anything here that really shouldn’t be brightly colored.) Or maybe you had it together in 2010. That’s fine, no one’s judging. Unless, of course, you’ve still got all the evidence documented in a series of terrible selfies. But those are all on long gone flip phones, right? If you had a Facebook back then, probably not. And why wouldn’t you have had a Facebook? In 2010, Facebook was all the rage. But, if you’re caught between “too lazy to delete those crappy photos” and “a little concerned that someone important might see them,” then you might be in luck. Because Facebook seems to be going the way of MySpace.
That’s right. In at least this writer’s humble opinion, “Facebook,” as your mom might call it, is dying.
Facebook had its fifteen minutes of fame, its time in the sun. We all saw that movie, “Social Media,” or “Social Network,” or whatever it was called, with Michael Cera, or whoever that was. Facebook had a really good run. We all had some great chat conversations on the website, and maybe something interesting even came of one those “like, dislike, rate” statuses you posted back in the early days of your high school career. I’ll even admit that my current relationship can probably be traced back to my boyfriend adding me on Facebook shortly after we met and having a conversation with me about a pet turtle that, to this day, we, unfortunately, do not have.
But take a look at your Facebook today. The times have changed drastically. While you probably check it more than ever, thanks to smartphones, you’re getting less information than you used to. Algorithms have changed the way that Facebook operates so that newer posts no longer show up first in your news feed. Posts from your friends probably even fall behind clickbait articles and ads based on the web tracking your every Google search. (Okay, I’ll admit that I’m no expert on how Google gets your information, or even on how Facebook is structured, but you have to admit that you know I’m right. In a way. Sort of.)
Say you do end up seeing a recent update from a friend, though. If your Facebook experience is anything like mine, you’ll see that post when it’s new, the first time you log in after it’s been posted. And that’s great. Until it’s the only update you see all day. It’s at the top of the feed every time you log in for the next two days. Never mind any new updates. Facebook has deemed this post about your old youth group leader’s new diet the most important thing on the web this week. Your cousin’s new baby does not deserve that spotlight, according to King Facebook.
Add all this to the fact that you’ve been accruing friends for the last seven years or so, and you’ve got a recipe for a pointless feed. While you were once overjoyed to reconnect with your first grade best friend who moved away when you were 7, you probably no longer care about her constant updates about her job at McDonald’s. The same goes for people you graduated high school with, or worked your first job with, or went to that one summer camp with that one time.
And what about all those pages you liked back in junior high? Not just band pages, or favorite TV shows, or even makeup brands. I mean the weirdly specific ones. You know. Pages like “the one kid everyone calls by their last name” or “I secretly sit alone at night and wonder about the swamp demons in the dark.” What even were those? Why did we like them? And what are they posting these days? Usually not anything funny. In fact, from what I can tell, they’re mostly posting straight virus injections right on your news feed.
Facebook was a great idea, back in the day. But now? It’s had a good run, but it’s time to let go, and move on to greener social media pastures, so today. Or a lighter blue. Like Twitter. Or give up social media altogether and maybe go outside. Catch some Pokemon. Let Facebook fall back into the dark depths of the internet in peace.
