In childhood, there was nothing more I hated than getting up early on a Sunday and dressing up to go to church. Obviously I liked the donuts, "kid's time", and sometimes Sunday school, but I found it hard to enjoy the service. Granted, my family was a little dysfunctional and would constantly occupy the cry room; I never truly got into the services or the messages. Once I hit middle school, my family slowly started going less and less. Life was getting in the way, and although I tried my best to go to youth group and eventually got confirmed, there was something bigger I was missing.
Judy Blume wrote a book called, "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret." Sometimes, my life felt like that-literally considering my name is Margaret. Everything felt like a big, "Are you there?" Through high school, it just felt like something was missing from my life. Even though I wasn't raised to be the most religious person in the world, (seemingly) not having God in my life was a confusing time for me. Sure, I learned more about myself, but at the end of the day, I wanted more than just myself and the people in my life.
After I got confirmed in 6th grade, my siblings got me a ring that has Philippians 4:13 on it, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." When life got difficult, my ring was always that thing I could count on. I knew things would get better, and to being able to remain strong was important. I'm not sure if it just didn't click in my head, but one day in my junior year, I realized that God was the answer. My best friend asked me to come to church with her, and from that day on, I began to find a relationship with God again.
Towards the end of my junior year and into senior year, I began to get involved in the FCA (The Fellowship of Christian Athletes) group at school. Having meetings every week with people who came from all over the spectrum of their religious beliefs helped me feel more at home, and gave me breathing room to develop my own faith and sense of where I fit in. Coming to college, I was afraid I was going to lose what relationship I had developed with God. However, I am very thankful that since being here, I feel as though it has only been strengthened.
I believe being a good Christian is more than going to church every Sunday and memorizing the Bible. If there is anything I have learned through my time of confusion, it's that acting on God's word and showing love to others is more important. Religion, in a sense, isn't talking about it, but being about it. What is God calling you to do? Although I don't know exactly what it is yet, I have learned to trust, and more importantly have faith, in him and his plan for me. Remaining open and willing to every opportunity has helped me grow into the person I am today. Now, I look forward to church and learning more about Him and what I can do in my life to serve him the best I can in the time I'm here.
