Upon my arrival at Corban five months ago, I moved into a hall and began attending classes in which I knew nobody. To say it was difficult and scary is an understatement. However, as I was reading through my prayer journal the other day, I remembered how frequently and ardently I prayed for God to provide for me a community of people who could allow me to grow and flourish in my spiritual life. I now realize that He went above and beyond that request.

One of the most important things I am learning about friendships is that they are not meant to be easy. Friendships should stretch you and challenge you. If a relationship does not do this, it is most likely a shallow one. Shallow relationships are not always bad; we all have people in our lives that we consider friends, but would never see outside of work, school, church, etc. These friendships are okay, but they are not the ones that will ultimately shape us into who God wants us to be.

The people we are closest to should be a little hard on us. They should be able to call us out without feeling like they need to tiptoe around our feelings to keep from damaging them. This is especially important as Christians. Having a friend or group of friends who can be blunt with you about things you may not want to hear is a crucial part of spiritual growth. It’s no secret that Christians aren’t perfect, but it’s often easier to ignore the areas of our lives that are not living up to biblical standards than acknowledge we are caught up in a cycle of sin. Having a few close friends who are able to hold you accountable in places you are failing is absolutely essential.

This is something God has been teaching me with my new college community. These are the type of relationships I have established since being here, and it has made all the difference. I have had friendships in the past in which I see a certain area my friend is lacking in, but I choose not to say anything because, “It’s really none of my business,” or “That’s between them and God.” I have also been in friendships in which, looking back, friends did the same to me. This is not the mindset we should hold as Christians. We are all running the race together, and while we should not be hypocritical or point out every one of our friends’ flaws, we should be honest with them (in love of course) about things they need to work on.

The spiritual growth I have experienced throughout the past few months due to having these people in my life is amazing. God created us to live in community with one another so that we encourage and help each other. As Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” If you don’t have anyone in your life who is holding you accountable for things you are struggling with, find someone. Not only is it nice to help and be helped by other believers, it is our duty.