Like most of the LGBT+ community, bisexuals get a bad wrap. They face discrimination for being a part of the gay community, but also receive discrimination within the gay community. Even though they are the “B” in LGBT+, they are still being erased. A bisexual person will have many recounting of times when people have told them they are “just going through a phase” or are asked inappropriate questions.
A common thing to hear if you are bisexual is if you are in a heterosexual relationship, you must not be gay. False. Attraction to the other sex doesn’t just go away because you are dating someone of a different gender. If a bisexual woman is dating a man, then she is still bisexual. It goes the other way, too. If a man is dating a man, he is not homosexual. He is still bisexual. It is not the place for anyone else except the individual to label themselves.
People often believe that people label themselves as bisexual because they are “confused” or are in an experimenting phase. Being attracted to more than one gender is not uncommon, nor should it be perceived as a state of confusion. This stems from old prejudices of anti-gay sentiment and needs to be let go.
Since bisexuals are attracted to more than just one gender, they are often over-sexualized. There is a common misconception that bisexual people are more likely to cheat in a relationship or be non-monogamous. Just because they are attracted to a wider range of people, doesn’t mean that they are going to have the desire to sleep around. Then, there is that one phrase that all bisexual people, especially women, dread, “So will you do a three-way then?” Never, under any circumstance, ask a bisexual person this. The answer is almost always no, and it will make them dislike you right away. Dating as a bisexual can be very difficult because of these stereotypes. People don’t want to take the risk of someone cheating on them, or they feel like they are just generally more promiscuous.
The media plays a large part of the portrayal of bisexuals if they show them at all. The percentage of bisexual characters shown in television shows and movies is an incredibly small amount. Gay characters are hard enough to come by. Typically, when a bisexual person is portrayed, they are women who only serve the purpose of being sex objects. People take what the media shows to heart, and it is often where prejudices are born.
Scholars have debated the reasons behind erasing bisexuality or even going as far as biphobia. People find themselves anxious when there is instability from liking more than one gender. Having their sexuality questioned causes a lot of discomfort for a large population. The gay community feels the need to push bisexuals from their inclusion because they have the option of being in a heterosexual relationship. They also find the term “bi" to be misleading because it implies that there are only two authentic genders when there are a wide variety of genders.
In the end, someone’s sexual orientation is none of your business. There is no reason that anyone should feel the need to label anyone else besides themselves. Bisexuals are as valid as any heterosexual, homosexual, and anything in between. Sexuality is a spectrum that is hard to make sense of for some people. Just because something doesn’t make sense or doesn’t apply to you, it is no reason to dismiss it or discriminate against it. Bisexuals are valid. Don’t take that away from them.
