In my relatively short time on campus, I have been overwhelmed by the socializing ability of some college students. They can grab lunch with friends, go out to clubs, and finish the night with a party; they probably talk to more people in a day than I do all month. It astonishes me that they return to the dorm more energized than before. That amount of mingling and social stimulation actually wears me out just thinking about it, as I was not blessed with the extroverted personality that could allow me to navigate the college social scene. I see their looks of pity, confusion, or even frustration when I say that I have a better time going for a walk with a close friend or watching a good movie. Sadly, introverts are misunderstood and I’m here to say that yes, we actually do have a great time with our quieter, more reserved lives.
When there are excessive conversations with strangers or if there’s just too much going on in one space, we get tired. We become physically and mentally exhausted. That amount of socializing actually drains our energy, to a point where we will inevitably need to retreat back to our alone time saying, “I just need to get some sleep tonight.” No, we do not hate talking to new people. No, we do not hate social gatherings. We are just wired to function better with less people around and with less overall sense stimulation. Introverts are not antisocial; we just need a different kind of environment to be our energetic selves.
Secondly, fun can be different to different people. While an extrovert may live for nightlife or large group gatherings, we live for one-on-one conversations with close friends or just listening to music. If it was a group of two or three people, without strobe lights and a crowded room, we would be perfectly fine to talk all night. The problem is that the modern definition of a good time involves situations where introverts will inevitably crash and burn. Extroverts need to understand that we enjoy our own activities, and we are not dull people. We do crazy things with our friends too, just in smaller settings.
Honestly, extroverted large and loud fun just isn’t that agreeable to us. Being happy while doing something is all relative to the person, so understand how we could prefer staying in to going out. And if you ever get tired of all the noise and the mingling, we would be happy to show you that our introverted existence is just as enjoyable and lively as yours. Just please don't bring the whole party along with you.
