My whole life, I have always thrived on time with myself. Although I do value the time that I get to spend with others, my time with myself is something that is necessary for my mentality to be in check. This is a personality trait that I accept, and trying to change it just doesn’t work.

In common society, it is popular for teachers or parents to prod for their children to come out of their shells. Extroverts are desired and preferred in many situations such as school, work, sports, etc. With such a fast-talking, fast-doing world, there are so many times that introverts are overlooked because they aren’t making themselves the center of the conversations. Society prefers the “in your face” personality so much that if somebody is not this outgoing way, then they may be seen as uninterested, and pushed to the side.

The misconceptions of introverts are what creates the stigma that we need to be changed. Being an introvert does not imply shyness. You can have a shy extrovert, and a not shy introvert. There is no direct correlation with shyness and introversion. Just because somebody is an introvert, does not mean they are afraid or nervous to speak. It does mean, however, that they are reflecting on what is being said, and they are taking in their situations fully.

Now, it is important to understand the difference between introverts and extroverts. Introverts tend to revert to their inner thoughts and feelings, whereas extroverts will live and thrive in the outside world. Introverts prefer to recharge within themselves and reflect on the experiences they have, where extroverts prefer to recharge with new interactions with others, and they live in their experiences rather than deeply reflect.

Myself as an introvert, I am able to engage in social interactions, but it is not my preference. I enjoy being social, but I also really need the time to myself just to be alone, and to reflect because I often feel over-socialized. Many people I have encountered have such a desire for me to “come out of my shell” and interact more. However, telling me to do that, is equivalent to telling you to sit at home and read a book rather than going to the party. It doesn’t make sense to your mentality, because it’s not how you work.

If you are friends with, a parent of, a teacher of, or any other relation to an introvert, know that when they want to revert to their shell, it is not because they are shy, and not because they want to be taught how to socialize. It is simply how they need to live to become sane once again.