I'm the type of person who wishes for plans to be canceled a few hours before they happen.
I don't mean to be and I usually do enjoy social outings once I'm actually out and about, but I so often dread doing things before they actually happen.
I'm an introvert by nature, and there is nothing wrong with that. But that doesn't mean that I haven't compared myself to my more extroverted friends and wondered why I don't seem to have their same energy, or why I don't feel that I am as fun as they are. I find myself in this trap a lot, actually.
There are a lot of people who would probably describe me as extroverted. I have a bubbly and approachable personality and I really like to laugh. I think that I often hide behind my personality, hoping that it covers my introversion.
That's toxic.
My introversion is not some fatal flaw. It doesn't make me boring, and it doesn't mean that I don't have any friends. It just means that I need time to recharge on my own.
Upon coming to college, I didn't have a ton of friends. My boyfriend and I were the only two from our high school to come to UNC that year, so he was the only person I knew and I was totally fine with that. That isn't to say that I didn't want other friends or that I'm not thankful for my friends now, but I really was happy with having just one close friend.
Some of my faves while we were rushing FranklinEmily Ruezinsky
This year, I became pretty close to some people in my campus ministry. I'm thankful for the friendships I have with these people, the conversations we've shared, and what I have learned from them. Yet, sometimes I just want to retreat back to my room.
Most of my friends are extroverts, and for a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to spend hours in the library with them and I sometimes prefer to eat my lunch alone.
But there isn't, and I didn't fully understand that at first. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.
For a long time, I was inclined to burn myself out and to hang out with my friends whenever they were together in the library or the dining hall. I felt like I was wrong for wanting some time to myself, because I really do love my friends — but I love my me time, too!
I ultimately landed on setting boundaries for myself. I make sure to be in my dorm room at a reasonable hour so I can unwind after the day. I allow myself to eat some meals alone, and I do my best to not feel guilty about it. I make sure to hang out with them one-on-one, too, because that's where I socially thrive.
Some people are wired like me and some are more like my friends. No matter how you relax, hear me out: you do you. Don't ever think any different.
