This week, I interviewed dogs.
Yes, you read that right. I interviewed dogs this week. Two Jack Russell Terriers named Pookie and Sassy. I have to say, they’ve been very interesting subjects.
They’ve travelled most of the United States, and their humans have made plans so that the two will hit all 48 continental states in the near future. Here’s a recent video of one of their road trips:
They have outfits that they wear— constantly!
Everyone falls in love with Pookie and Sassy, partly because they are so full of energy and life. Those of us who are extreme dog-lovers might believe that dogs and puppies alike act more human than many animals (perhaps that’s why they’re considered “(wo)man’s best friend”) and when I met Pookie and Sassy, they acted more so like humans than any I had ever met, and their owners seem to agree.
I think we can all learn a lot from these fun-loving, happy canines, so I am glad I was able to catch these two furry super-stars earlier this week for an interview. They, along with their "assistants" (AKA owners) Ryan and Sara, were able to tell all about their life and their secret to success.
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ME: How old are you?
POOKIE AND SASSY: We are 10 ½ years old!
[interviewer’s note: this is around 55 human years old]
ME: What does a typical day look like for you? How about an ideal day look?
SASSY: A typical day for me? Well… I don’t really want this to get out, but I love to eat the cat’s food before my assistants get up in the morning. I don’t know what it is about cat food! Anyways… I sneak back into bed and no one ever knows about it.
POOKIE: Tell her about the special pad, Sass.
SASSY: Okay, yeah— if the assistants don’t get up in time, I just pee on my own little special pad in the house. Oops.
RYAN: Yeah, she gives zero shits about peeing in the house.
ME: What about after that?
SASSY AND POOKIE: We love to run with the humans in the morning!
POOKIE: In my prime, I LOVED to run. I’ve won awards for running. Yeah, I’m a pretty big deal.
SASSY: And then we go back and nap. If I’m not napping, I like to check on Ryan and Sara to make sure they’re both still alive, especially if Sara is showering.
POOKIE: Eh. Ryan will be fine, it’s Sara I’m worried about. I like to sit outside the shower and guard her. She is carrying a tiny human inside of her, after all.
ME: What’s an ideal day for you, then?
SASSY: Our typical days, usually.
POOKIE: Yeah, those days are great.
RYAN: If they’re allowed to do anything, they love to travel.
S&P: [barks] Yeah! That! We love to go on adventures!
[interviewer’s note: They started barking mainly because some students brought a carton of cupcakes by]
ME: How was your trip across America with your humans?
S&P: IT WAS AWESOME! We love the gas station! And other things.
POOKIE: Especially water.
SASSY: Especially leaves.
RYAN: They love being on the road because everything is amazing. You could go to the most beautiful spot, but they love when you just pull over at the gas station. They’re so excited about everything.
SARA: They can go from level 0, Sassy dangling over the stick-shift, Pookie sleeping in the back, to 100% energy when the car stops because they know they’re going to get out.
ME: How is your relationship with the cat, Mister Kitty?
POOKIE: We hate him, can’t stand him.
SASSY: Unless we haven’t seen him in a while. Then we love him.
SARA: They have reason to hate him, though. He eats their food a lot… and when they sleep under the covers… Mister Kitty bats at them when they move.
S&P: It’s a love/hate relationship, for sure!
ME: What are some of your hobbies?
S&P: We have a few different hobbies. Mainly we love the outdoors.
POOKIE: I LOVE WATER. I don’t care how cold or hot it is! And bones.
SASSY: I will avoid water at all costs. Unless there’s something floating in it, like leaves or feathers. I also like tearing stuffing out of animals. 
P&S: OH!! We almost forgot to mention… We love rolling in dead animal or bugs.
RYAN AND SARA: Basically anything terrible, they’ll roll in it.
ME: How did you meet Ryan and Sara?
S&P: We were born in a motel 6. That’s all we know.
R&S: The lady claimed the neighbor dog and her dog mated, so she was selling them for small amount to recover costs of raising puppies.
SARA: She wasn’t selling Sassy because she was the runt.
RYAN: We begged for both! Sassy came at a discounted price.
SARA: It was even worse because she fell out of the bottom of the box on our way out from at least 4 feet up.
RYAN: Yeah, so we don’t really get mad at her for peeing in the house or anything like that.
ME: How would you characterize Sassy and Pookie?
R&S: Sassy has gone through a lot. She’s had surgery from when she had sepsis. She’s definitely a fighter.
SASSY: That’s right.
R&S: Pookie cries for anything, like when she eats sand.
[interviewer’s note: Pookie was crying at the carton of cupcakes that was just out of her reach as Ryan and Sara said this].
ME: Who bonded more with who over the years?
RYAN: Sara bonded with Pookie, but Sassy bonded with both of us. I originally wanted Sassy and Sara wanted Pookie.
SARA: Ryan saw them as dogs at first. They never left Florida, where I lived, for the first 5 years.
RYAN: Yeah, they became more than dogs after that first 5 years for me. Now they go everywhere with us.
ME: I remember your Princeton tiger outfits. (pictured)
Do you have any other outfits?
R&S: They’ve got a lot of outfits. Thing 1 and Thing 2. Batman and Superman.
SARA: Sassy’s got this fantastic spider outfit that scares people!
RYAN: They have 30 outfits each, just about. Football jerseys, dresses, bridesmaids dresses
R&S: Sassy gets so giddy and happy when she’s in costume. Pookie just stands like a statue and does not move..
ME: You obviously have a lot of fans. How do you deal with fans on a daily basis? What do you think of them?
P&S: We love when our fans give us food. And also petting. Our fans are the best.
R&S: They take advantage of their fans. They just want food and ass rubs. However, they go batshit crazy around other dogs. Sassy is an alpha. She bosses around other dogs.
SASSY: And they listen, too.
ME: Compared to a lot of other dogs, you two have a lot of worldly experience. What advice would you give to other pups across the nation?
POOKIE: Don’t let people treat you like dogs.
SASSY: We just want to go on vacations and live life like people do. Eat at restaurants, see the sights.
R&S: It’s true. We buy them $50 steaks, they’ve had the best BBQ.
RYAN: Yeah. They have less time on this planet, they deserve to live.
ME: How do you make each day count?
R&S: They’re always happy. Every moment is the BEST MOMENT EVER. They take joy in the littlest things in their lives, like leaves. They’re excited about going out. Everyone can learn from it.
P&S: We’re just always happy!
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So there you have it, folks. Happiness is the key to life.
Can’t get enough of these pups? Here’s another video of them as Batman and Superman:
More videos can be found here.
