There is a quote that has always stuck with me, "I'd rather have four quarters than 100 pennies." I love this quote because it puts the importance of value in perspective, especially if you compare it to friendships. Wouldn't you rather have four best, committed friends than have 100 acquaintances or fake friends?
The thing is, it's hard to find true friends and sometimes it's even hard to be one. We live in a world where busyness consumes us, it sometimes prevents us from being intentional, and in life, especially in relationships, intentionality is key.
Here are 7 ways how you can be a more intentional friend.
1. Learn your friend's love languages.
I highly suggest that you and your close friends or loved ones take the love language test at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/. Through this test, it ranks your love languages and tells you what motion of love resonates with you the most, whether that be words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, or physical touch. By learning our friend's love languages we can be more intentional by showing them love in that way, knowing it'll mean that much more to them.
2. Try to meet with different friends every week.
The best way to balance and be intentional in friendships is every Sunday, see what days you have free for the week and try to schedule one meet up with a friend. This way you are able to see what friends you haven't gotten together with recently and makes it a habit to be more intentional.
3. Quality is better than quantity.
I mean, even Jesus, only had 12 disciples, and that is a fact whether you're a believer or not! With that I am saying, we are not meant to be everyone's friends, but instead really pursue the relationships we do have with people.
4. Communication.
It's a two-way path. You can't be an intentional friend if you don't communicate with your friends. Tell them what you need, and ask them what they need. Don't be afraid of the hard questions and conversations, after all, that's what intentional friends are for!
5. Yes, be there in the hard times, but don't forget to celebrate the successes.
It is so important to be there for our friends in those hard times and be the person who gives them a shoulder to cry on. However, we can't forget to celebrate each other's successes, no matter how small. Encouraging each other to value even the little things in life is a beautiful thing.
6. Not being afraid of vulnerability.
Most of the time, people won't feel comfortable opening up to you, if you won't open up to them. Take that first step and break the ice, and jump in a little, even if it's cold and hard at first.
7. Find the Balance.
Finally, it is so important to find the balance in friendships. Although, being an intentional friend is so important, make sure you give time for yourself to refresh and renew. If you don't give that time to yourself, you are not going to have the energy to be equipped to invest in others, so take time for yourself too! And make sure you are surrounding yourself with some people who are investing in you too!
If we all became a little more intentional, I feel that this world would be a lot better place, as no one would have to feel alone or that no one understands them. Everyone wants to be loved, valued, known, and cared, so let's make that happen, being more intentional with one friend at a time.
