You may find yourself being stuck in situations in your life that make you wonder how to move on, what to do or where to go. Sometimes those situations can devour your spirit and make you feel as if there's no way to move forward. You feel depressed, confused and overall consumed by one failure after another. May it be, or not be, your own fault or just a string of bad luck, there's always hope.
What would I know about struggle? I'm twenty-six now and I spend the better half of each year in the Philippines, with my gorgeous Filipina soulmate, Aimie, and our beautiful daughter, Quency Mea. I spend my days there training in mixed martial arts, which happens to be my hobby; sipping red wine or drinking from coconuts with my feet in the sand, relaxing on the beach with Aimie. Together, we make the most fun-filled memories with Quency, ensuring she never has to know the struggle that Aimie and I grew up with. It all hasn't been so great, though. The time I spent getting to this place, was all but easy.
I was born and raised in the glorious mountains of Eastern Tennessee. Where I lived, was more than an hour away from the nearest city, and still yet, at least half an hour away from anything that could actually be considered "town." Having three brothers, I grew up rather tough. At eight years old, I was working for my dad, chopping wood and selling ricks of wood for about twelve dollars per rick, with my dad taking more than half the money as payment for hauling it.
I was a "straight-A" student in school, but my dad and mom fought like cats and dogs until I was nine years old when they got divorced. That took a toll on me. Even though my dad was a rough and tough, red-neck that was a bit too harsh on me and my brothers, it hurt me to think of our family being broken even more. I found it hard to focus in school. My teachers noticed a change in me and they often asked me about what was bothering me but I would never talk about it.
I became a quiet student, which eventually led to me being targeted by bullies. This went on for years until about the seventh grade, when I began losing my temper with everyone. I lost self control and I began fighting back. I suppose in my mind, I was fighting the bullies, but in reality, I was fighting anyone that looked at me wrong. I was suspended multiple times and very frequently placed in "In-school suspension." The school forced me to talk to a school counselor until I surprisingly graduated eighth grade.
In high school, the trouble got much worse. I clicked with a bad crowd and eventually started smoking weed and snorting crushed pills and drinking like crazy. Much more than than average high school students in that experimental stage. Outside of school, I was arrested a few times, but luckily never charged. However, I was arrested in school and spent a few days in a juvenile detention center.
I still never learned my lesson. I came back to school and kept the same lifestyle until I had been banned from three places; the movie theater in town, the pool hall and lastly, was expelled from my high school permanently at seventeen years old. I did, however, go back and get my GED. But that was not the end of my spree.
With nothing to do, I drank much more and fought more often. I tried hard to get a job, but most people in my area knew my name and knew I had a bad reputation. Shortly before I turned eighteen, I was court ordered to have a mental health evaluation and had to see a representative with the department of child services a few times a week. When all of this failed and I refused to stop drinking, I was ordered to attend two drug and alcohol programs, or else spend the rest of my time in juvenile until I reach the age of twenty-one.
After failing a drug test and begging for one last chance, I attended the drug and alcohol programs and passed, earning my "30 days of sobriety" chip. I began to think clearly and after my eighteenth birthday, scored a good job at a warehouse in Clinton, Tennessee. With my head on straight and a will to strive, I worked there for nearly four years, had managed to acquire two new vehicles and my own house. Age twenty-one, I had a credit score higher than most adults, until the warehouse was shut down and I had to give up everything to the bank.
I became homeless, yet was fortunate enough to have an older couple as friends, who allowed me to sleep on their couch, fed me and helped me go to school to learn to drive an eighteen-wheeler. They gave me a sum of money to get me started and after three weeks of schooling and one month of training, I was hauling loads across the country and making a paycheck twice as much as the warehouse paid me. My life at home was failing though. I had my own place, my own vehicle and what I thought was a good girlfriend.
Being on the road a month at a time and only home for a few days, she easily concealed her drug addiction. There came a day when I found out about it. She was doing drugs and having parties at our house every time I left out on my trips. I finally confronted her, but was more than willing to work with her until I came home with my house destroyed, our joint bank account was cleared out. She also had sold my pick-up truck and took the money from it, went to live with another man. I was devastated.
Spending years celibate was nothing new to me, as I had experienced heartache a couple other times already, so waiting for a new love wasn't so stressful for me. After a while, I gave up on women here and at the later months of age twenty- two, I packed my bags and flew across the world to the Philippines, where I met the love of my life and her two year old little girl, who hadn't know what a father figure was until I came into the picture. My whole life changed. We now own land and business in Leyte, Philippines, and have just begun the construction of our two storey house. Soon after, we will have our dream wedding, followed by a memorable wedding reception at our new home, with close friends and family.
No matter what struggle you face in life, no matter how big the odds, if you put your all into your life, NOTHING can stop you. You are your own worst enemy. You are your greatest influence.
YOU CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY.
