When I hear people refer to themselves as cynical, I struggle to hold back a scoff. I ignore further elaboration on how they determined that life is drab and harsh. I may even mock them in my head, joke to myself that they’re clad in their philosophy as if it were a style. Then, inevitably, I feel an ounce of regret swell in my stomach and I attempt to redirect my thoughts elsewhere. The older I become, the more I realize how misguided my judgements of others are; informed by cynical instincts, I immediately assume that a self-proclaimed cynic could never be genuine and entangle myself in petty, meaningless thoughts about others.
In truth, none of these thoughts or judgments matter or improve the quality of my life. They don’t heighten my critical reasoning. If anything, they diminish my ability to appreciate the good that does exist in the world. For years, I have fought to uncover optimism and spent hours combing through the internet in search of life changing tips. Here, I have compiled a brief list of the tricks that have helped me the most in the hopes that it may abet those of you also struggling with pessimistic thoughts.
1. Stop lying to yourself.
The foremost problem that I have encountered involves insincere justifications of negative thought patterns. When I criticize another person for something that is entirely meaningless, such as their haircut or fashion decision, it’s all too easy to internally defend this judgement. I could, "Well, it is biologically normal to assess others based on appearance due to evolution.” If I decided to go on further, I could make a case for this assertion, but wouldn’t it ring hollow? I am certainly not Darwin, I hardly grasp the fundamentals of natural selection and my interest in understanding it better is shallow at best.
The truth is that when we say these things to ourselves, we are lying to defend the thoughts that make us feel ashamed. It’s not only petty to condemn another person for their hairstyle, but it is also potentially damaging. The next step in thinking that someone with pink hair looks ridiculous is associating all pink haired people with unsavory qualities and then distancing myself from a number of compassionate, worthwhile individuals who just happen to like the way they look with pink hair.
2. Acknowledge that you don’t know all that much.
No matter how smart you are, you are fundamentally just as limited as the rest of us. Oftentimes I fail to account for the necessity of diversity in thought. A “me vs. them” narrative emerges and I foolishly associate ideas and people I dislike with concepts of evil and selfishness. Bred by pessimism, this type of thinking lends itself to narrow-mindedness and has caused me to dismiss oppositional ideas without thinking critically about them.
Even if some ideas do not fit easily into your understanding of the world, it is better to respect them and consider them before presuming they come from a place of malevolence. Giving others the opportunity to introduce me to new concepts has freed my mind in inexpressible ways and allowed me to approach all things with openness and excitement.
3. Pursue sustainable changes.
Rather than resign to misanthropy and distrust in others, use your gifts to better our global society. A quality that often comes along with a pessimistic attitude is a talent for identifying problems. With a little initiative, this talent can become the stepping stone to a true skill that will enable you to tackle issues in your community.
Since I was child, I have been foul-mouthed and self-righteous, and without an outlet; these traits are annoying at best. It took effort and self-reflection, but after some time, I was able to discover a passion for policymaking and political advocacy. When I feel outrage over something that is insignificant, I know it is better to breathe deeply and place my anger into perspective. Why struggle so much with unimportant matters when there is so much work left to be done?
These tips may not resonate with your specific struggles, but do not let that discourage you. If you are a pessimist striving to adopt a more positive outlook, then perhaps this means you are already halfway there. Not everyone battles with the same mental hindrances, but I strongly believe that with enough determination, anyone can reshape their perspective.
