At the risk of sounding like an overly-sensitive, politically-correct millennial, I’m a just a little offended by the Infiniti commercial out right now.
The ad depicts a man and his son discussing his son’s choice of car – seemingly normal, except that historically the family has been known to drive BMWs. The man’s son, in an apparent show of disdain for the family name, tells his father that he will be purchasing an Infiniti rather than a BMW.
Talking about purchasing the Infiniti, the son says to his father “Look, this isn’t easy for me either. I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but it just feels right.”
His father replies: “This isn’t how we raised you.”
Correct me if I’m wrong but the entire commercial – this exchange in particular – strikingly resembles how a son coming out to his father as gay can go so wrong. The setting is an intimate environment and the son seems ashamed of himself, seeking his father’s approval (and, stereotypically, not getting it).
Maybe the commercial is just Infiniti’s attempt at pointing out the absurdity of having to “come out” as something you’ve been all your life. If that’s the case, they did a horrendous job. Instead, the commercial has been received as a mockery of the coming out process, likening it to something as minute as switching car brands.
Except it’s nowhere near as minute as switching car brands. Critique coming out all you want, it’s a necessary process given the social atmosphere of the United States (and most of the world). We still think, live, and act in a heteronormative manner, assuming that ourselves and those around us are heterosexual. In this way, it’s still “us” heterosexuals versus “them” homosexuals. Thus, it is my responsibility as a gay person to “come out” and show the world that I’m not a “them”; there’s only an “us.”
And because there’s still so much stigma, coming out isn’t always easy. A particularly difficult situation for young gay men is coming out to our fathers. We look to our fathers as a gauge of our masculinity, a measure of how successful we are as “men.” And for this reason, rejection from our fathers that results from our sexuality – something so innate to our identity – is nothing to joke about. True rejection from our closest, most respected male figure is much more significant than being flippantly-rejected because of the car brand we choose.
There are two plausible explanations for this Infiniti commercial. Either the company is mocking the coming out process, or they seriously failed at an attempt to express solidarity for those who have gone through the process. Either way, there is no excuse.
What Infiniti has shown me, as a young gay man, is that there is still so much progress to be made. There are still so many people who simply do not understand the anguish that so many go through in coming to terms with their sexuality. And it is clear that Infiniti is a victim of this lack of understanding. Maybe they’re not the car brand of the young and progressive that it seems the commercial tries to portray.
So I’m sorry, Infiniti, I’ll be sticking with a car brand that doesn’t try to make money off of such a sensitive issue, especially such an issue that I’ve faced in my own life.
