"You don't seem like the relationship type."

I'm sorry... What did you just say to me? If I'm not mistaken, all humans are the "relationship type" and being able to do things for yourself doesn't mean you are not suitable for one.

Unlike most of the people who I hung out with in the beginning of my freshman year at college, I was single. I'm young and at this point in my life, I am totally fine with being by myself. I refuse to go out a search for a relationship. You can say I have high standards all you want, but in my opinion, being single is a lot better than being in a bad relationship. When I find a person who isn't intimidated by my individualistic (and a wee bit aggressive) personality, I will play it by ear. Personally, I don't think I have high standards, I just know exactly what I want in a relationship.

Every one of my girlfriends was struggling to keep up with a long distance relationship or had just broken up with someone due to the inconvenience. I know I'm not supposed to laugh-- but it was actually kind of hilarious when they were all sitting in a circle on a Friday night crying about the same thing. I just sat there with a cranberry vodka and, of course, took notes. Though they weren't showing it at the moment, I knew they would eventually grow stronger and move on. It was my job at the moment to be a good listener and to have a lot of patience...oh-- and to make drinks-- can not forget about the drinks. They babbled on and on about why the relationship didn't work, talking about all these ridiculous things that their boyfriends did that I probably would never put up with in my life (*sips drink and looks off into the distance*) and didn't really talk about the bad decisions they made because well... who wants to own up to their own BS when you could just blame everyone else right?! (*Sighs...and sips drink again*). Eventually, my friends stopped and realized that I was the only person there who was perfectly fine.

"Caroline's so independent. She doesn't seem like the relationship type," my friends said as if it was some normal thing to say. For a minute, I thought it was pretty normal too. I mean- it's nothing I've never gotten before. Growing up an independent female, being told that you don't seem like the "relationship type" is pretty common. But what kind of bullshit is that? Being an independent female deems you not the "relationship type"? Is it unheard of to be an independent person in a relationship? It doesn't sound strange to me at all. What my girls didn't realize when they told me I wasn't the "relationship type," was that they were basically saying they were the "relationship type" because they're dependent on other people. Now I don't think we usually hear the words, "I'm totally the relationship type because I'm dependent on other people" come out of a person's mouth. If you think about it, that's exactly what they were implying.

I'm not saying that these women aren't strong and beautiful (because they are), but I think the way society portrays relationships is lessening their expectations of themselves. For a long period of time in my life, I actually did convince myself that I wasn't the relationship type! I genuinely thought that my personality scared men off for all the wrong reasons. Once I left college and put things into perspective, I realized that all the people that told me I'm not the relationship type probably weren't even ready for a relationship themselves!

I can assure all of you that I will be in a happy and healthy relationship at some point in my life. It's hard to love a girl like me... or maybe it's too easy to love a girl like me (the boys tend to be scared of capable women; notice how I said boys and not men). I want to encourage all woman who ever used the phrase "relationship type" to please re-evaluate what their definition of love is.