If you haven't had the pleasure of experiencing PBS' hit show "In the garden with Bryce Lane"...well, you're missing out.

As a freshman in my high school agriculture class, this was a substitute filler lesson plan. At first, I remember thinking..."seriously...we're gonna watch gardening videos?". (my teacher was also an animal person, so none of this really added up)

The credits and opening music starts rolling, this older guy appears on the screen with a neat mustache...the next 30 minutes are gonna take a while, it seems. Little did I know, in the next 30 minutes and two horticulture teachers later, I'd think Bryce Lane walked on water.

I've got this belief, 'gardens are made up of the many'. A few times I've mentioned how flowers need bees, bees need flowers...just like we need people and events in our lives to make the world go round. I truly, whole heartedly believe that our lives function for the good because of the variety of people and places that enter. EVEN when not all of these people are good or not all of the places so perfect. I wouldn't truly learn this fact until an FFA convention in my 4th year of teaching.

I went through many nights of studying and many soul searching conversations with friends and family during my journey to becoming an agriculture teacher. I'm sure just about anyone who takes on the career path of being a teacher at all, has these conversations. I knew in my soul that I was born to teach, it seems a little bold to say that I knew I was born to lead...but seriously, its an ache I have. When something needs doing, or someone needs helping I'm dying to jump in!

I'll never forget my first day student teaching (I had the absolute best cooperating teacher in Benson, NC). I was told 3 pieces of advice that I LIVE by.

1. Don't worry about all these emails...until they send it a 3rd time, its probably pretty serious by that point.

2. Don't take your work home with you, it'll be there tomorrow. (I struggle with this, as most FFA Advisors do)

3. These kids aren't test scores.

No truer words were ever spoken of the life of an ag teacher.

Another day I'll never forget and a day that has played such a large role in who I am as an educator and leader in my classroom, was the moment I watched a student that had attended the school I was teaching at take the stage to receive an NC FFA state officer position.

Receiving a state officer position was something I had dreamt of. As a high school FFA addict I could think of nothing else, but the glory of wearing that association jacket. I still remember the tears I cried in El Paso, TX as I learned the calling of the state officers for my year. It was a path I had chosen to not pursue. It was a decision I would have to accept and learn from. Crying my eyes out at the age of 17, I had no clue that 8 years later those tears wouldn't even matter.

The excitement I had and the happiness I had watching this student take the stage is a feeling I will never forget. My mother told me 8 years prior, "One day, when its your student it'll mean that much more." God was she right. I don't pretend to take credit for the student's success, that is solely their own. But the pride and happiness I have for their achievement is unmatched to any achievement I've ever made.

You see, my life, or my garden if you will, has consisted of so many different varieties of people and many different habitats. I've had people mold me into the leader that I know I am, both through good and bad experiences. I have created the image of the type of teacher I strive to be each day based on these people. In my garden, I have managed to prune, nurture, and straight up weed out anything and everything that either grew me or didn't. The tears I cried at that convention were for a very specific healing moment, that all of my resentment and jealousy of a time I had no control over anymore were gone. Those tears were cleansing. The joy in seeing a worthy and deserving soul have their dreams come true, completed dreams I didn't even know were the ones I needed to come true.

As I began year 6 this August, I said to my husband, "I've finally got a hold on who I am as a teacher." Don't think for a minute that I've got it ALL figured out, trust me...there are days when I know I need to be that shining light in my classroom, cause for many we're the only Jesus they'll ever see, but in reality I just need Jesus myself. What I mean is that I know who I AM. I'm not any of my teachers before me. True I've gleaned so much beauty and breakdown from all of them (like a love and obsession of In the Garden with Bryce Lane), but I am the only one of me. I'm a yeller at times sure, cause teenagers love chatting over my tiny self. I'm a plant nerd, if you've ever met one. I'm a sucker for anything that could potentially liken me to Ms. Frizzle! And yes, I'm still an FFA addict. The organization that gave me a home away from home, a distraction through the darkness, and challenged me to know my limits of selflessness in a time so unnatural for one to be selfless. Many hold onto the moment they last wore their jacket. My favorite jacket moment happens each year. Those crisp new jackets for a new member. I once stated in an interview where the question was asked, what was so special about the jacket. My answer was, "The gold lettering on the front spelling my name."

We belong to the blue, but we are who we are.

STAY GREEN