It is our honor today to share the impact that our dad left on so many. We've spent the last week trying to piece together what we could possibly say that would embody the impact that our dad left on this earth in his short 58 years of life. We have heard from countless friends, family, coworkers and strangers that have stated how our dad affected their life in the most positive ways. Our dad was known as a gentle soul, a listener, a role model, a coach, and a friend. He was humble, kind hearted, simple, intuitive, and someone who always went out of his way to make you feel seen, heard, valued and respected. We were told recently that he was the type of guy who would walk in to a room and rather than say "Here I Am" would look at you and say "There you are."
As his children, we believe we can speak first hand of the man that he was. The role that our dad played in our life was one of the best and we got to see him through so many different lenses. Today we would like to talk about a few of the many roles our dad played in our lives.
A coach
The hours he spent coaching Matt and I in basketball, driving to tournaments at 6am with map quest directions printed out, getting frustrated because we usually forgot something and always making sure to stop at the gas station to pick up a bag of seeds and a blue Gatorade. After every game, he was who we looked to first for feedback, tips for next game, what shots we shouldn't have taken, and how we couldn't keep trying to draw the foul. He coached us to play with composure, which didn't happen) and to always be the best teammate. I knew I could look to him in the middle of a bad game and he would look at me and I would immediately know what I needed to do.
He was a huge role model for Matt and even recently, the last thing he said to Matt after Matt's bad round in Oklahoma was, "Well by the looks of the scores, everyone else can play in the wind so why don't you learn how to do it like your dad." He always made little jabs at us with the purest of intentions but we wouldn't have had it any other way. My dad was so proud of Matt for following in his footsteps as a Golf Professional and they would talk countless hours about the golf business. I can only imagine how big my dad is smiling knowing that his son aspires to be just like him.
A dad
When thinking of my dad, the first thing that comes to mind was unconditional love. He was so proud of both my brother and I and although he was a man of few words, the things he said made the biggest impact. He always knew the right things to say, when to say them, and how to deliver the message so that Matt and I would always be encouraged to become better people, friends, athletes, sons, daughters, and family members. He would provoke conversation to challenge us into exploring new ideas, viewpoints, and always played our devil's advocate. He always treated us as equals. He helped us with absolutely everything. One of my most recent memories was our date that was planned weeks in advance to file my taxes. He was so smart with numbers, finances, and business so I always looked to him for advice. While doing my taxes this past March, I found myself looking to him for every prompt that was given to me because I was so scared that I was going to make a mistake and commit tax fraud. He laughed at me as it got the point that I looked to him for whether or not I should check yes for being a military veteran. My dad was patient, encouraging, and simply the best.
A husband to our mom
My parents love for one another was something else. Besides being complete polar opposites, they fell in love over the game of golf and made history together. They were always each others # 1 supporter and my dad always knew the right things to say to make my mom smile or laugh. He ate everything my mother made, and even got around to trying new meals this past year with our hello fresh meals. He would help in the kitchen trying to make middle eastern chick pea bowls and wouldn't complain a single bit, just happy as can be that he was being fed. We loved hearing the stories of our parents playing against in each other in middle school basketball, reuniting at Dalgreen many years later, and their love story from there. He was her rhyme and reason in every situation and we both always admired that about him. My dad was patient, loving, and always willing to learn a new skill from my mom and always set a standard for my brother and I in seeking new relationships.
A music enthusiast
When I think of my dad, I think of the band The Who. I picture him walking around the kitchen with his Air pods in, music playing so loudly you can hear it from the next room and him singing loudly the "who who" part of the song Who Are You. He'd test me to make sure I knew the band and then continue on air strumming the guitar riffs. I would hear him from the kitchen speaking into the remote "Play 2 Cellos Thunderstruck" and I was always so proud to say that my dad raised me on ACDC, The Who, and The Beatles. My dad was one for dancing, but he did not necessarily have the best moves. It took me 45 minutes to convince him to join me on the dance floor at the local country bar in Ames. I figured based on his history of owning cowboy boots and attending North Texas that he would fit right in on the dance floor but what resulted was the most awkward dance from the outside view, but one of the best with my dad and something that I will hold in my heart forever.
A Christmas Connoisseur
The holidays were the most special time for us and our dad. Beginning the day after Thanksgiving we would head to the tree farm and he would humor me for hours because I am very particular about finding the perfect tree. He also made sure this past Christmas was the most special despite the circumstances. I spent the time leading up to the holiday season really sad that we wouldn't be spending it with extended family and my dad did everything in his power to make it the most special Christmas. He spent hours with me decorating the house, hanging lights, making homemade wreaths which he didn't enjoy, baking cookies and eating most of them, and watching Hallmark movies that he would predict the exact plot of the movie before it even started but sat through it anyways because he knew how important it was to me. That's the kind of man he was, constantly giving to those he loved.
A Friend
My dad talked fondly of those he was continually surrounded by and talked about Phil and Pink, and Kevin all the time, waiting to plan the next golf round. He loved and admired you all so much. My dad had no enemies and fostered relationships with all who crossed his path. He always had a smirk on his face when talking about his days at Chaska High School and growing up with his cousins. His little switch of going out for basketball senior year and still being a starting player, his memories playing quarterback with his friends and family on the team, and of course his golf game and how much fun he had at state. We read through my dad's Class of 1980 Yearbook and it was incredible to read the many paragraphs from people who admired him. Over the course of the last 12 years, my dad created countless friendships with people at Minnco, people within the Cambridge community, and with all of our coaches growing up. He was a friend to many and his character never wavered.
It was shared with us what is grief but love persevering and what a true statement that is. You are all here because you experienced the love that my dad had to offer to each of you. It is an absolute blessing to have had our dad in our lives for my 23 years and matt's 25. He has made the most lasting impact in our lives and will be missed by us every single day until we meet him again in Heaven. I hope that the lessons he taught us; to always be kind, know when to bite your tongue, lift others up first, cherish your family, to love one another, and to enjoy the simple things like a Lotzza Motzza Pizza, diet mountain dew and a stiff Brandy Manhattan, carry on in the lives that he crossed paths with.
So in honor of my dad let's all play our music a little louder, be a whole lot kinder, and always know that you are never too busy for a round of golf. He was one the good guys and for that we will be eternally blessed that one of the good guys was our dad. We have the best guardian angel now.
The last thing that Matt and I would like to say is that our dad was better than most. Better than most.
