If you live in Southern California, or your bitchy and unreasonable track coach in high school was named “Ella,” you’ve heard people complain plenty about the ephemeral but ever-present concept known as Coachella. The music festival in the desert is notable for a wide variety of reasons, from reuniting bands to being a source of many people’s bitter discontent. People every year make it known that the lineup is subpar or awful. And while it’s certainly not fair to pretend that every Coachella lineup is of the same quality as the last, and while it's possible that this year's is worse than previous years', a lot of people's disappointment comes from a quick glance at the headliners.
2016 is obviously no exception and is being decried as a shitty lineup by many. At first glance, it may seem obvious why. Friday is headlined by LCD Soundsystem, nearly indisputably one of the best artists of the last 15 years, but admittedly not known by the mainstream as such. Saturday is headlined by Guns n’ Roses, a band that made you buy an aux cord for your car so you didn’t have to listen to classic rock radio anymore. And Sunday is headlined by a guy so overwhelmingly normal that of all the names he could have chosen for himself in the complete freedom of the EDM world (with Kaskade, Odesza, and RL Grime as creative examples) he chose Calvin f*cking Harris, who could very well be some guy who works at Target. So maybe you were stoked on going to Coachella, but now you’re on the fence about going. Why does that matter to me? Because I think you, my treasured reader, could be missing out on an incredible experience if you elect not to go due to something trivial. I present the argument that taken as a whole, the 2016 Coachella lineup is worth your time and money if you have the ability to go. Here are the reasons why.
1. The fine print
This should be obvious, but the Coachella lineup is not determined only by the three biggest names. There are 100+ artists on the lineup, and multiple bands play during the headliners each night, so if you’ve got beef with Guns n’ Roses, go see someone else. The fine print on the Coachella lineup is super high quality always (or should I say... Alvvays (no, I probably shouldn't (I'm sorry))), and this year is no exception.
a. The sub-headliners
Right under the headliners are the sub-headliners; they're like the super dank rice and beans at the Mexican restaurant that were actually better than the tacos, so when you go back to the restaurant even if you're like "their tacos are just eh" you're stoked out of your brain for the rice and beans. Many of the sub-headliners this year are all at the peak of their games, having just released an album, about to release an album, or having been a member of N.W.A. Sufjan Stevens will make even the frattiest group in the crowd weep. He will make the palm trees weep. Disclosure may have disappointed slightly with "Caracal," but I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Weeknd, Lorde, or Sam Smith pay a visit, and the fantastic "Settle" is still fresh on everyone’s minds. CHVRCHES is the type of fun, live music that will make every second exciting but also introspective and serious, Beach House has never released a bad song and is touring for two albums, M83 could feature Donald Trump whacking an electric triangle for three hours and hearing “Midnight City” live would make it worth it, and Ice Cube is friggin’ Ice Cube. Maybe Coachella doesn’t have as many familiar and safe sub-headliners this year like the Strokes or Two Door Cinema Club, but its lineup features a lot of what made 2015 what it was, and a lot of what will make 2016 what it will be, and that alone is pretty exciting.
b. The meat
And below the sub-headliners are the names you didn’t catch the first time around. They’re full of overwhelming names like BADBADNOTGOOD and GoGo Penguin that might make you think that spending $400 to see bands that look like your drunk Twitter drafts may not be worth it. But in the midst of all those names are some awesome acts. Grimes, Run the Jewels, and Courtney Barnett alone would be worth more than half the asking price of Coachella, and they’re just part of one small line on the lineup. Christine and the Queens are the Florence and the Machine of France and they put on one of the most unique shows you could see, Vince Staples is cruelly underrated, and Deafheaven is proving to be one of the greatest metal bands of all time for anyone who hates metal. There’s an abundance of quality in the meat that justifies the price. It just takes a little research. A show like Deerhunter, who could very well be on at 2:30 p.m., could be just as entertaining and fulfilling as a headlining show by like, Death Cab for Cutie at another festival. And while it’s always fun to recognize a lot of names, keep in mind you can only see so many in a day, so even a handful per day is worth getting excited about. Also, if there aren’t a whole lot of names in the meat that you recognize, it could be a plus. The afternoon is a great time to stumble into a show with your friend and end up finding a new favorite band, or if not, just having a great damn time. Last year I walked into Benjamin Booker in the middle of the afternoon, and while I certainly don’t count myself among one of his fans, it was a really fun show and I’m glad I went.
2. The headliners can’t possibly ruin Coachella
As I mentioned before, there is no obligation to see a headliner if it doesn’t excite you. While I do concede that it’s a disappointing missed opportunity when there could have been much better headliners (RIP hopes of Kendrick, Kanye, or Eminem filling the Sunday slot), they simply won’t ruin anything. But even if you do find your way "stuck" at one of their shows...
a. The headliners this year aren’t nearly as bad as some people are saying
First off, if you’re at all disappointed by the presence of LCD Soundsystem as a headliner, you simply haven’t heard enough by them. The reuniting of James Murphy and crew is actually one of the coolest events of any festival in the past few years. Their music is fun, sonic, upbeat, and overall incredible. I can only imagine the type of live show they will put on. While they may not be as canonical as Arcade Fire or Kanye West, they are almost as great. Guns n’ Roses may be your dad’s favorite band and not yours, and while I myself have had a pretty solid hatred of Guns n’ Roses for years, I’m still actually really excited that they’re on the lineup. A reunion is always a cool thing to witness, and it’s something people will be talking about for a while to come. People ragged on AC/DC being on the 2015 lineup too, but their performance had the energy and all-encompassing cultural presence (like GNR) to convince everyone that they deserved to be there. With Slash officially on the guitar, it’s going to be an exciting performance. “Sweet Child o’ Mine” might make you sick when you hear it on the radio for the 294834th time, but in the desert with a top-notch set up and extended guitar solos and everyone losing their shit with excitement, you would have to have an impressively sturdy amount of cynicism to not air guitar like your damn life depended on it. And as for Calvin Harris, you can sit around and discuss why his music is too poppy and mainstream for 364 days of the year (365 this year) and you would probably get more satisfaction out of that than from listening to him. But Calvin Harris drew the biggest crowd in Coachella history in 2014, and, like with GNR, when everyone is jumping up and down and lights are shooting everywhere and it’s the last night of what is sure to be one of the best experiences of your life, you’ll enjoy yourself. You would have to fight yourself not to. Whether or not the headliners are necessarily on your dream playlist or not is nearly irrelevant to how good of a show they can put on.
b. The whole lineup doesn’t even really matter that much
Peg me as a California hippie, but being under the sun with people you love, listening to incredible live music, getting away from school, being surrounded by beautiful people, seeing large form art that you’ll likely never experience again, and spending the weekend doing something most people will never get the opportunity to do is beyond worth the $400, even if you hate Halsey and wish Radiohead had made a surprise appearance. The experience of Coachella, with its location, reputation, and just the nature of it, is something incredibly unique and worth every dollar. You’re going to like Coachella...*extremely Men’s Wearhouse voice* I guarantee it.