When I was 10 years old, I read "Gone with the Wind: for the first time. I was an insufferable little know-it-all, and I had this idea in my head that if I read long and complicated books I would become some kind of prodigy.

Go figure.

Although I did not go on to become a prodigy of any kind (shocker), I found inspiration in that particular book in the form of one Scarlett O’Hara. She was smart, ruthless and utterly self-destructive, and I was hooked. Scarlett was magnetic, so sure of herself that she consistently alienated others and destroyed her own life. Despite all her failings, however, Scarlett’s most valuable trait was her refusal to become a victim.

This became something of a fascination for me, especially when I found out that Margaret Meade had never truly intended for Scarlett to be the heroine of her novel. Melanie was supposed to be the heroine, because she was depicted as such a kind and compassionate person. But everyone fixated on Scarlett because Scarlett did not allow herself to be reduced by the implosion of the world that she knew. Her imperfections are what make her so appealing.

And I get what Margaret was saying, you know? We all aspire to be kind and compassionate and sweet all the time, but that’s not what inspires us to achieve greater things. We as human beings identify with the individuals who defy society’s ideals. They don’t live to please other people, they live for themselves. If you don’t like it? Too damn bad.

I found parts of the Scarlett O’Hara persona in a lot of other female heroines, but no one really did it better than Blair Waldorf in "Gossip Girl." Love her or hate her, there’s not a lot of lukewarm emotions towards Blair. She’s cruel, calculating and conniving, as likely to stab you in the back as she is to be your best friend. But like Scarlett before her, it is the rare moment of vulnerability, when she feels like her world is closing in, that makes her so likable. She isn’t perfect and untouchable; she has to struggle, and she does not let herself sink.

So what I’m trying to say here is that there is nothing wrong with being the "head b*tch in charge." Stop apologizing for taking ownership of your own life. You’re not going to win every time, but being unapologetically yourself isn’t going to hurt. We could stand to take a page from both Blair and Scarlett’s books because they remind us of how to overcome our flaws and become the catalyst for change in our lives. Not everyone is going to like it, but you have to be okay with a little rejection in order to grow as a person. And who knows what could happen?

Great things, probably.