Where I currently work, I don’t have my own desk, or my own space. Each day, I come in and bounce from office to office occupying whatever open space is available. Maybe that person is sick, she has the day off, or they’re on vacation, but whatever the reason is, there always is an open desk for me.

The other day I was placed at the desk of a woman who has been working there since the clinic had opened and is related to the manager. As I plopped down on her comfy spiny chair, I admired her personal office filled with photographs. She had shelves lined with family pictures ranging from vacations, to posed family portraits, to her grandchildren dressing up. She had Psalm readings and Bible verses framed on her walls, along with thank you cards and multiple, motivational post-it notes, like ‘tough times don’t last, tough people do’ ending with, instead of the quoted source, a cheerful smiley face. There were other notes that lined her desktop computer, but as I began setting up my laptop and papers, I couldn’t help but notice the quote, ‘It is nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice’.

At first read, I completely agreed. That makes sense. I’m a nice person; I like being friendly. Of course kindness is more vital than being considered important. No one wants to come off rude and pushy when trying to make new acquaintances or gain beneficial relations.

But then I actually read the quote. Being nice to everyone is better than being considered important. I recalled the studies done that prove negative and hurtful comments affect us stronger than positive ones. What good does being nice do if no one remembers that? Wouldn’t it be better to have more power and influence than just have people forget the nice things said?

But then again, wouldn’t it be better to have friends and people who like you then spend weekends working late and alone in the office?

Well, what is nice and what is important?

I don’t like this quote. It implies being important may involve not being nice. But being nice and being important mean many different things depending on whom is asked. For some, being nice means not speaking up or just going along with the crowd. ‘Nice’ may be never questioning or voicing opinion. Just get along with everyone, don’t be difficult. Even if that means putting up with others who are rude, disrespectful, or unfair. Women especially are expected to display a ‘nice’ persona in the workplace.

And according to this mindset, if we continue with our ‘nice’ values, women, or anyone trying to be ‘nice’, will never be considered of the higher value they deserve. Because according to this quote, it is better to just be ‘nice’.

But really, it is possible to be authentically kind and important. A good CEO will tell it as it is, get the job done, may seem bossy, but in the end is looking out for their business and employees. An authentically nice boss will still criticize staff. But they will also praise them when their work is done right, when improvement is made. Work won’t get done when the lines aren’t set and rules expectations are meet. Being authentically kind involves enforcing the standards while still praising throughout the process. This mindset of striving to get work without being a bully about it is important, because progress will be made, there is an authentic relationship built, and trust is formed.

And while being at the head of an enterprise may be viewed as the most ‘important’ job, each of the members have their place and rights. Each person involved in any company, team, or business has the right to respectfully voice themselves.

Being nice is dynamic. It involves honesty and respect. It is possible to be nice and important, neither should have to be compromised; there doesn’t need to be a chose.

Maybe the post-it note should read: it’s vital to be nice in order to be important.