So you’re in a relationship. Congratulations. You truly care about this person and want to spend as much time as possible with them (meaning you want to spend every day with them—let’s be honest here). You two are very attracted to one another and you both would do anything to keep your relationship strong and afloat for as long as possible. Basically, you are boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend or some other combination, but should titles like these determine your levels of commitment to one another? If your partner does not believe in using such titles, does that make their devotion for you less than someone who explicitly says “boyfriend” or “girlfriend?” And what exactly do these titles entail in terms of your relationship?

The terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are typically used for more serious or committed relationships, people who have decided to be together in a romantic aspect. “Boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are very explicit titles. When using these titles, the couple has put their relationship out in the open so everyone knows that they are together. Couples who use these titles are often those you see in public holding hands or gazing into each other’s eyes or some other cute, romantic gesture that makes all the single individuals sigh... or gag.

Now what about those who refuse to use titles? Does this mean that they are not as committed to each other? Contemplate this relationship: two individuals, obviously a couple, are fully devoted to one another and genuinely care for one another. They seek to make their relationship last, already under the impression that they are in a long-term relationship. She is his “lady-friend” and he is her “man-friend.” Say what? Is this merely some modern slang for “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” or do these titles mean something different? First off, they both have the word “friend” in it. Does that sound like a full-fledged, long-lasting, romantic relationship to you? If you said “no,” why not? Having the word “friend” in the title does make it sound not as serious of a relationship as the overused “boyfriend/girlfriend” labels. But if you think about it, “lady-friend” does have a certain ring to it, like that “lady” is special enough to have her own title given by someone who is obviously more than just a friend.

“Lady-friend” reminds me of “lady-love” from the Arthurian time when knights fought to win the fair maiden’s heart and marry her. Knights devoted themselves to quests for the sake of receiving or regaining the affections of their lady-love. A similar thing can be said about the modern lady-friend. Although it is not as explicit as using the terms “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” calling one’s partner a “lady-friend” or “man-friend” does not take away from the affection or faithfulness he or she has.

So where does this lead us? In my opinion, couples do not necessarily need to title themselves to show their love and appreciation for the person they are with. If you are one of those people who believes that calling your partner “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” exemplifies a deeper relationship or that titles are a means to understanding what kind of a relationship you have—romantic, friendly, friend with benefits—then there is nothing wrong with titles. Or maybe you are one of those people who don’t worry about titles or don’t find them necessary. I do believe that titles are helpful when trying to figure out where you and your partner stand in terms of your relationship and how you want to address one another to others, but a title is just a name that can be changed. You do not need a title to love another.