We Are Living In A Society Where Rape Has Been Normalized

We Are Becoming Immune To Rape Because Of Our Culture, That's NOT OK

Our world is becoming increasingly dangerous.

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It's time to recognize the culture we live in. I'm not talking about political culture or our cultural differences. I'm referring to the rape culture that we all promote whether we acknowledge it or not. We are a point in society where women are finally standing up and voicing the harassment and assault they have faced, and we are fortunate that consent is being a topic of conversation all over college campuses. But are we recognizing these strives and deciding that all of those things are enough?

Is talking about sexual assault and rape enough to prevent it from happening? Is one girl coming forward with her story enough to stop the culture we live in?

No. It's simply not enough, and we are all part of that problem. For example, if a girl comes forward at a college party and says she was sexually assaulted, are girls going to continue to go to that same party the next weekend without fear? Of course, they are. This is because while we recognize that rape is awful and shouldn't happen, we have become immune to it.

We hear the word rape or sexual assault, and instead of that immediate sick feeling everyone should naturally get, we just hear it and feel no reaction because it has become such a common thing. It's is something that we hear about so often that when we hear it, the significance does not register. Rape has become normalized.

Still not getting it? How do you feel when you hear about a random homicide on the news? I doubt you think about that homicide whenever you visit the city where it took place. I doubt you even think of that person for more than a second of the day. We are beginning to do the same thing with rape and sexual assault.

We cannot afford to become a society where this is okay. We cannot be okay with the normalization of rape. It is not right for us to only care when we know the person affected or when it is us. We should not live in a world where we dictate what matters strictly upon our own connections. A world where we think like that is a world where sexual assault prevails and rapists win.

We can't afford to be immune to sexual assault. We can't become complacent and satisfied with where we are now in regard to this issue. We need to keep progressing and fighting for a world where this isn't something anyone fears. Blocking out commentary on sexual assault is a simple disservice and endangerment to society.

While not to discredit the progress we have made, it is so important not to turn a blind eye to the problem at hand. As a society, we owe it to the victims, who bravely spoke out, to listen and not ignore their story. Those who feel any differently need to take a long, hard look in the mirror because they are part of the problem too.

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I Support Late-Term Abortions, That Doesn't Make Me A Baby-Hating Monster

A late-term abortion is a horrible, devastating and heartbreaking choice... but one I'm glad women have.

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If you think that late-term abortions are for mothers who get to 8.5 months and then randomly decide they no longer want to have a baby, then don't even read this article. This article is not to argue with ignorance. Read some unbiased articles, actually, think about it for two seconds and then realize that women who are due any day now aren't just going to terminate their pregnancies because it is "legal" now. (It is not.)

I've seen so many posts and comments and arguments, the crux of them being, "I can't imagine aborting my child after 24 weeks."

Well, guess what... The women this law will apply to probably can't imagine it, either.

Nearly all abortions occur in the first trimester of pregnancy (approximately 91.1%). This tells us what is (more than likely) a pretty obvious fact: That beyond the first trimester, most women are planning to keep their baby (or give him or her up for adoption). So you can imagine that even being presented with the option of termination would be heartbreaking.

Imagine this: You're pregnant and absolutely ecstatic to bring a child into the world. You go in for an appointment at 30 weeks. During the exam, your doctor is quiet. You are growing extremely anxious. They tell you that they have some bad news. Your daughter has a serious condition, one that will allow her to live less than a year. They can perform a c-section, she will be in the NICU for a long time, but even once you take her home, she has an extremely low chance of survival. Her life will be painful. Or, they can perform an abortion.

What do you choose? For some, they absolutely cannot fathom the idea of termination. They'd rather take a chance at life. And for some, they cannot even fathom the idea of watching their child live a painful, short life that will end in incredible heartbreak.

Both of these are traumatizing decisions. Your pregnancy and your hope for the future and your plans for the child you are so excited for have come crashing down. This is not a lightly made decision. And if you would choose to take your chances, pray for a miracle and get to hold your child in your arms, you should have every single right to.

But if you decide that the trauma of terminating your pregnancy without having to fall further in love with your child and watch him or her struggle every day and deal with the gutwrenching pain of losing them, you should have every single right to make that choice, too.

This is not cut and dry. This is something that changes from woman to woman, from family to family. But one thing stays the same: Learning that the life that you planned for your baby can no longer be as you desperately hoped is heartbreaking. It is a uniquely horrific feeling that, you're right, you can't imagine. No one can imagine it until they're living it. I write about it and I think about it and I have to assume that there is nothing in this world that can prepare you for it.

Posting and commenting that women who choose the path of late-term termination are monsters or killers or heartless is wrong.

Picture this: A pregnant woman and her husband, sitting in an exam room alone after learning devastating news about their pregnancy. They're holding one another, sobbing, thinking through their options. Trying to decide if ending their pregnancy, crushing the hopes and dreams they had for their little baby is the right choice, or continuing on and hoping for a miracle but knowing they should prepare for the heartbreak of their lives. Picture them, through tears, while holding an ultrasound photo to their chest, telling the doctor they choose to terminate. Picture them going home, sitting in the nursery they decorated, calling their parents and telling them their grandchild won't be arriving.

Are you picturing a couple of monsters? A couple of heartless killers?

Or do you see a family put into an impossible situation, trying to make an impossible decision for themselves and their unborn child? A family who threw a baby shower and decorated their nursery and argued over the perfect name for months. Who took progress photos of their baby bump, who talked about what sports their kid would play, who had to hear the devastating news that turned their world upside down?

I don't see a monster. I don't see a killer.

I see pain, I see hardship, I see love.

And I hope that you do, too.

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I Want To Be Embraced, But Touch Triggers Me

A poem about touch.

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I want to be embraced, but touch triggers me,

Because with touch comes vulnerability.

Touch has the power to lift you yet can destroy you if it's unwanted.

We touch to feel, but the longingness to feel something—a body that isn't yours--takes the good feeling away.

It breaks you.

Over and over again you try to train your mind to tell itself that every touch is not bad; every touch won't leave you crying on the bathroom floor asking why this happened to you.

Every touch won't deprive you of your appetite.

Every touch won't leave you numb like you are when you're reminded of the person who took it all away from you.

Every touch is not meant to harm you the way their touch did.

Every touch isn't meant to break you.


I want to be embraced, because it can make me feel safe

It tells me that I am understood—

Not a body for someone to conquer, but one to nurture.

To be embraced is to be loved—by someone, by something.

But when being embraced turns so quickly into being touched, the safety net disappears.


I want to find refuge in your touch, but touch triggers me.

Because with touch came the conquering of my body

With touch, I was left to pick up the pieces of myself, alone.

With touch, I lost sight of my own.


I want to be embraced, but touch triggers me.

Because I'm reminded of the unwanted ones.

I want to be embraced and touched by you, but it's hard to differentiate between the two

The good from bad- the nurturing from the conquering.

They say boys will be boys, but the parents who taught their boys to be boys, turned into men who left unhealed wounds

Touch triggers me, but I don't want it to.

I want to be loved by you.

My mind says to let go and let you.

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