I'm So Tired

I'm So Tired

I’m not just tired from my depression, though.
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If you know me in real life, you’d know that I say, “I’m tired” a lot. The typical responses are that I need to go to bed earlier, or I need to exercise more, or that I need to eat healthier. None of these are solutions to me being tired.

I am tired because I have depression and usually have no motivation or energy to do anything—including eating, showering, or even just getting out of bed to change my clothes. All small things that actually take a lot of effort for me to get done. Forcing me to do things makes it worse, and I feel more miserable and tired if I do things without energy. Sometimes, that’s not the case, but it usually is.

I sleep most of the days I have off, or I sleep as long as I can if I have work. When I go to work, I am exhausted. I don’t have energy to bus tables, and I certainly don’t have the motivation to talk to co-workers about why I’m tired. I don’t remember a time before I was tired. Tired is just a part of my personality and my being.

I’m not just tired from my depression, though. I’m tired from the way people treat me because of my disorders. I’m tired of being treated like a child and like I need someone to hold my hand constantly. Sometimes, I do need someone to help me and hold my hand, but most of the time I just need an extra push and some encouragement. Most of the time, I just need someone to tell me that one day I won’t be tired and that things will turn out OK.

If you know someone who says, “I’m tired” a lot, maybe that’s what he or she may need because maybe they have depression as well. It’s different for every person, so make sure you ask what he or she needs before trying to help. If they don’t know what they need, support and empathy are always a good go-to.

Cover Image Credit: Tired

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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You Should Treat Your Body With Kindness

Your health should be your first priority.

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I've learned that at the end of the day, you have to love yourself more than anyone else does. Your body will be either you for the rest of your life and you haven't to treat it kindly.

Things can get difficult as we grow up, and we can often be led to neglect our bodies or to treat them badly. You may be wondering what exactly I mean by badly.

The smallest things we do that can harm our bodies can lead to major consequences. Not drinking enough water is a big one, especially for me. I usually go about my day, forgetting I even need to drink water to survive, and this has led me to become dehydrated a few times. Being dehydrated is horrible for your body and can lead to many serious life-altering complications. You do not want to end up in the hospital needing an IV because you forgot to drink water. Drink water; this is an example of self-care.

Not eating enough can be very damaging. Have you ever been so busy and stressed studying for an exam, running home to make flashcards, then running back to the library to study with your classmates? Have you ever been so caught up with studying that you passed up time to eat or forgot to eat because you didn't feel hungry from the stress? If you have, you are probably a college student. I can tell you that this has happened to me and the end result wasn't good. I was too hungry to study and didn't retain information well. When I finally found time to eat, my stomach started to hurt because I had spent so much time without food. Eat well and regularly; this is an example of self-care.

Not getting enough sleep can cause you to feel like you're not even present the next day. Pulling all-nighters has never been something I've done or wanted to do, but I do stay up late way too often. I never realized how much getting a full 8 hours of sleep would benefit my health and well-being the next day. I've gone days with sleeping little and not being as productive as I would have liked to be because I didn't have the energy to do anything at all. Sleep the required hours; this is an example of self-care.

Drinking water, eating regularly, and sleeping are all seemingly simple and obvious things people should do, so why do we neglect them so often? No grade is more important than your health. If you neglect your basic needs, your grades are sure to suffer. Taking care of your health means that you love your body and want it to carry you through the rest of your life. Remember, you only have one body, so treat it with kindness.

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