Before I was perfect. I was happy about almost everything. The one thing I didn't enjoy was school. There were very few people I knew that enjoyed school, so I was still normal. I went out with my friends. We were still young though so our parents would drive us around. Galactic bowling was our favorite pastime, while getting kicked out of Walmart was one of our favorite challenges.
We would hide in clothing racks, or meow at people from under shelves. We would go to the school dances, never with dates, and we would dance for hours with each other. We could make each other laugh for eternity if we wanted too.
We weren't trouble-makers though. We were straight-A students with a passion for learning. I was the sassiest friend. I had no filter and a ton of opinions. I always felt the need to share them at the worst times. I was happy though. We would "raise hell" in our little town, and we would live as though our whole lives were just around the corner, because they were.
Then my life changed. I was raped in a quiet town on a quiet and beautiful night. It was the kind of summer night you remember. It was clear and there was a little breeze. It was late out, and I had no reason to be out other than to enjoy the stars. It happened so quickly. And when it was over, I refused to talk about it again.
I didn't tell people about it for years. I was so embarrassed. I thought that it was my fault. I knew that word would get around fast. I knew what the people I grew up with would think of me. I was ashamed of myself. I was disgusted every single time I looked into a mirror. I didn't want to go to galactic bowling. I didn't want to dance the nights away. I wanted to leave my life for a new start. I wanted to hate myself for what happened.
It wasn't my fault though. I finally realized that. I didn't ask for that to happen. I didn't want it to happen. It wasn't my fault. It was his. I wasn't broken or damaged like I believed. I wasn't the same person I was before, but I wasn't destroyed.
I'm not as loud as I was before, and I won't laugh the nights away, but I'm stronger, and I am not weak. I won't cry when you mention sexual assaults. I won't lock myself away. I will fight for the victims that need someone to stand in their corner. I will speak in outrage against those who believe rape culture is OK. I will fight until there are no more people getting raped on beautiful summer nights. Summer nights are for adventures. Summer nights are for swimming in the moonlight or eating so many s'mores that your stomach hurts.
I'm done hiding. I'm ready to take back my summer nights, and I will fight for everyone else that is ready too.
